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Question
Posted by: Still Afraid | 2010/08/25

please please help

Im sorry proffessor simpson sir im new to the site: re my post afraid please help im not sure where to find the response to my question as u said ud answered it before but i havent posted it before,,, re my moms drinking i really need some kind of intervention re this matter

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello there StAf ! Welcome to the site, and its good to hear from you, though I'm sorry that you are still unhappy. I have today had several very short messages from someone saying they are depressed, but giving no further details, and each time we have given them advice to seek help, and where to go for it.
If yours was the question about a mom drinking, the heading you gave it was Please Help, and it was logged at 8.38 last night. And it was posted THREE separate times, so I answered it the first time I saw it, and the other twice just referred to the first reply That message should be findable in several ways. Just check EACH of the times you posted that message.
Anyhow, this is what I wrote in reply : "
" Heavy drinking is always bad for one's physical and mental health, and more so if one already has diabetes.

Most problem drinkers come up with elaborate arguments as to why THEY are not alcoholics ( like heavy smokers who claim they won't suffer lung problems, because they don't leave messy ashtrays stuffed with cigarette butts, like those shown in some health warning ads.)

When she says she sees no point in living after your dad's death, this suggests there could well be a degree of Depression and/or a bereavement being rally badly handled, fuelling the extra heavy drinking.

Talk to her calmly, about how, whether or not technically an alcoholic, her drinking is still a swerious problem and a serious risk, that her children still love her very much and need her around even more since the loss of your dad. With proper expert help she could be feeling happier and manage better without the alcohol, and play an even more central role in the family.

Ultimately, the trouble is that it is impossible to treat alcoholism / problem drinking ( or indeed most other health problems ) unless and until the idividual recognizes that there is a problem, and sincerely takes part actively in its treatment and resolution. "

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: math | 2010/08/25

Its a commont trait to be in denial abotu certain things in your life. And that is where generally your mom is at this stage in her life, the denial phase. Reality may now be hitting that her husband is gone and she is starting to feel the effect. Some of the effects of losing a loved one general take time to hit someone cause they did not accept it and trying to accept it is sometimes hard for them.

Your mom needs to generally speak to someone and she does not know but to do or how to cope. Talking to her as her kids will not be easy cause she will retaliate back with words that are hurtful cause at this point in time she wants to feel special. Whatever special love she had with your father she is missing it.

As her child its good you are really trying to her, sometimes they say be there for the one you love but generally it doesn''t mean physically be there, but trying to find ways to help someone.

I''d recommend you see your nearest social worker and seek advice. They would be able to come into your family and intervene by finding ways to get your mom to talk about what is truely hurting her in her heart.

Reply to math
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/25

Hello there StAf ! Welcome to the site, and its good to hear from you, though I'm sorry that you are still unhappy. I have today had several very short messages from someone saying they are depressed, but giving no further details, and each time we have given them advice to seek help, and where to go for it.
If yours was the question about a mom drinking, the heading you gave it was Please Help, and it was logged at 8.38 last night. And it was posted THREE separate times, so I answered it the first time I saw it, and the other twice just referred to the first reply That message should be findable in several ways. Just check EACH of the times you posted that message.
Anyhow, this is what I wrote in reply : "
" Heavy drinking is always bad for one's physical and mental health, and more so if one already has diabetes.

Most problem drinkers come up with elaborate arguments as to why THEY are not alcoholics ( like heavy smokers who claim they won't suffer lung problems, because they don't leave messy ashtrays stuffed with cigarette butts, like those shown in some health warning ads.)

When she says she sees no point in living after your dad's death, this suggests there could well be a degree of Depression and/or a bereavement being rally badly handled, fuelling the extra heavy drinking.

Talk to her calmly, about how, whether or not technically an alcoholic, her drinking is still a swerious problem and a serious risk, that her children still love her very much and need her around even more since the loss of your dad. With proper expert help she could be feeling happier and manage better without the alcohol, and play an even more central role in the family.

Ultimately, the trouble is that it is impossible to treat alcoholism / problem drinking ( or indeed most other health problems ) unless and until the idividual recognizes that there is a problem, and sincerely takes part actively in its treatment and resolution. "

Reply to cybershrink

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