Posted by: Lily | 2010-05-21

Please help me

We were living together for 4 years. About 3 weeks ago we broke up after a bad argument. He is usually a very attentive, loving person.

I left town because I''m not working and came to stay with my family. Dirong the 1st week after the breakup, we discussed getting back 2gether. When I phoned him the 1st weekend, I couldn''t get a hold of him, and found out that he picked up a girl on the Friday night. She was apparently homeless, and moved in with him. By the Wednesday he kicked her out.

When I confronted him on the Monday, he said that he wasn''t having sex with her, but became all defensive. Ever since then, things deteriorated, and we cannot speak without arguing.

On Friday, he phoned me 17 times, but I didn''t pick up. When I returned his call on Saturday, he was drunk and became abusive because I didn''t answer the phone on the previous day. I have now broken off all communication.

Ever since I left he has been boozing excessively, and doesn''t even put in an effort to see his children and grandchildren (he is 44).

I love this guy very much.

What I would like to know is:

1. Why is he suddenly behaving like a pig?
2. Is there any chance of getting back together?
3. Is it true that men experience a peak of missing their ex at 3-4 weeks after a break up?
4. How should I react IF he should contact me again?

Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not my area of expertise, but I'm sure other readers can be helpful

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-05-22

Not my area of expertise, but I'm sure other readers can be helpful

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Linus | 2010-05-21

Lily - anything is possible at this point especially with partner. And as you are both intensely emotionally involved this must be very stressful for both of you right now - most importatnt is to try and calm things down and get rational. Why don''t you send an email or a sms to him requesting that you both meet to discuss things at a mutually agreed date and time? Also if he tries to contact you again you can also suggest this. This will give you both a chance to prepare for the meeting and also help you plan for potential outcomes. You both deserve to give each other a chance and find out the truth of what happened - all the best...

Reply to Linus

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