Our expert says:
Maybe you have nobody outside of the relationship to blame for having become trapped for a time with an abuser, but the abuser is very much to blame for what happened. See a personal counsellor to help you get over him and recover and boost your well-earned self-esteem, an feel sorry for your so-called friend that she may be landed with an abusive loser.
Since the divorce, nothing you do, in any other relationship, would be unfaithful to him, and you owe him absolutely no duty or "faithfulness" whatever. You are not a fool, but have been brain-washed by an abuser into blaming yourself for the nasty things HE did. Don't move away --- geography won't solve this. Seeing a good pratical counsellor, preferably of the CBT sort, will help you to move away, from him, psychologically rather than geographicaly. You can soon become free to ignore them, wherever they are, and free to resume a much better life for yourself. You will be able to give up the counselling, as you have no need to punish yourself. If there is absolutely no facility for counselling wherever it is you live ( and most places should have a shrink and/or counsellor, then a move might be justified to somewhere which ould provide such facilities, but it would be good for you to be able to retain your job. Is there any chance of a ransfer within that contract, to somewhere which DOEs have counselors ? Call FAMSA and check out theavailability of counsellors within reach of you.
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