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Question
Posted by: Zama | 2011/09/09

Please help help my relationship

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. In 2008 he cheated me with another woman and dump me on her face, we broke up and he came back for forgiveness and we got back together he did the same thing again and still I forgave him but this time around there was a baby involved we agreed that the communication or connection between them will only be the baby.

Today he told me that his ex''s family invited him to the wedding and he is going, I told him not to attend the wedding since he said no partner is even invited but he drew a line that he is going. I ask him to choose between the wedding and myself and he said he i going to the wedding. Am I being unfair? Please advice

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He is not your friend, and this is not a relationship. He has cheated and lied, and forgiveness is a very stupid thing for anyone to do when the perpetrator who hurt you is not truly remorseful and determined to never do it again. If he had truly been sorry, he would not have cheated in the first place, and would not have had a child with some other woman. And to go to the wedding of his ex is ridiculous. You are being very much unfair - but to yourself, not to this heel. Let him go to the wedding. and make it entirely clear to him that after the wedding you don't want to see him or hear from him again. See a counsellor, if necessary, to learn self-respect and sself-confidence, and to move on to the happier life and relation ship(s) you deserve, rather than just servicing him part-time

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Our users say:
Posted by: Regular | 2011/09/13

It would be polite to thank ALL the people who replied , not just single out only one reply......................

Reply to Regular
Posted by: Zama | 2011/09/12

Thanks Thabi :-) guess we never want to learn from mistakes.

Reply to Zama
Posted by: Nthabi | 2011/09/12

Zama my sister all said above is true. No man who love, cares and committed to you would keep hurting you like this. As painfull as it is, move on. This guy is just keeping you around untill he finds a women of his dreams and he has no respect for you. Stop wasting your time and move on..........

Reply to Nthabi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/10

He is not your friend, and this is not a relationship. He has cheated and lied, and forgiveness is a very stupid thing for anyone to do when the perpetrator who hurt you is not truly remorseful and determined to never do it again. If he had truly been sorry, he would not have cheated in the first place, and would not have had a child with some other woman. And to go to the wedding of his ex is ridiculous. You are being very much unfair - but to yourself, not to this heel. Let him go to the wedding. and make it entirely clear to him that after the wedding you don't want to see him or hear from him again. See a counsellor, if necessary, to learn self-respect and sself-confidence, and to move on to the happier life and relation ship(s) you deserve, rather than just servicing him part-time

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Man about Town | 2011/09/09

You may think you have a relationship with him but he does not have any commitment to you.
Why do you want help with this relationship,he has no respect for you.
Be fair to yourself and have some self respect by dumping him.

Reply to Man about Town
Posted by: Obvious | 2011/09/09

You r not being unfair but u r being stupid and gullible.
Stop being a door mat - u asked him to choose between his exs family and yourself,he chose them. What does that tell u - how much clearer can he tell you that you do not matter............

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Loli | 2011/09/09

Moiketsi ha a lelwe, u could have just avoided all this DRAMA when he DUMPED U the 1st time
Sorry :(

Reply to Loli
Posted by: '''''' | 2011/09/09

you one very dumb and selfdisrespecting woman

Reply to ''''''

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