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Question
Posted by: MR ME 2 | 2011/12/13

PLEASE HELP AS IN YESTERDAY!!!

me and my girlfriend lost our baby in last week (miscarriage).... but now she doesnt speak about nothing, and she has been this way for as long as we are dating, like whenever i ask what''s wrong its always ''''nothing is wrong'' and im getting kinda frustrated because she just does not want to open up to me...... am i the problem forwanting to know what is going on with her or should i just back off and break up????

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm afraid I'm not available yesterday. However, lets see what we can do today. Neither of you is "the problem" but you seem to have different styles in esponding to and dealing with problems, which is where couples counselling together could be really useful.
Miscarriage can be deeply emotionally upsetting to both of you, and needs to be treated with respect. Faced with sorrow / crisis, we differ in how we usually try to deal with it. Some of us want to talk about it and verbally seek solutions, and its admirable that you want to help her and to find out what is troubling her and how you might help. But some of us respond diferently, and prefer NOT to talk about our feelings and what's bothering us.
A counsellor can both help the pair of you to face this current sadness, and to find the best ways in which you can help each other without becoming discouraged or discouraging

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: What? | 2011/12/15

What kind of man breaks up with his girlfriend after a miscarriage? If you''re not prepared to stick it out until SHE is ready, then do her the favour and leave. You can''t force her to talk to you, you can''t force her to go to therapy, nothing. I understand you lost a baby too, that is all the more reason you should leave her to mourn the way she needs to.

Reply to What?
Posted by: MR ME 2 | 2011/12/13

She is not up for councelling Doc? so what now?

Reply to MR ME 2
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/12/13

I'm afraid I'm not available yesterday. However, lets see what we can do today. Neither of you is "the problem" but you seem to have different styles in esponding to and dealing with problems, which is where couples counselling together could be really useful.
Miscarriage can be deeply emotionally upsetting to both of you, and needs to be treated with respect. Faced with sorrow / crisis, we differ in how we usually try to deal with it. Some of us want to talk about it and verbally seek solutions, and its admirable that you want to help her and to find out what is troubling her and how you might help. But some of us respond diferently, and prefer NOT to talk about our feelings and what's bothering us.
A counsellor can both help the pair of you to face this current sadness, and to find the best ways in which you can help each other without becoming discouraged or discouraging

Reply to cybershrink

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