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Question
Posted by: Kitty | 2012/09/14

Please help.

Hi CS.
I''m not sure if you''re the right person to ask, I don''t see something like a child behaviour expert or something on the forums, so maybe you can give me some advice or tell me who I can talk to.
My son is 10 months now, still a baby really, but he bullies the other babies in his class. He has quite a temper, and when he gets angry, he''ll pinch you, or slap you, he really hurts you sometimes. Now it''s at a point where his teacher puts him in his crib when the other children are playing on the carpet, because he hurts them. I don''t know if he even knows he''s hurting them. He''s a very good boy, friendly and so cute. But this thing I don''t know how to handle or what to do. When he was merely about 2 or 3 weeks old, he already had bursts of anger, which later ons went away, but know I''m wondering why he is doing this. He''s very hard handed when playing with things, throws it around, or shakes it, but very hard. Will this phase go away, or is it a sign of a problem. He''ll also take whatever another child is playing wiht. It''s as if he wants to be in control or dominate a situation. Is that even possible for a 10 month old???
Any advice will be appreciated

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hey, Kitty, some mornings I'm not sure if I'm the right person to ask, either ! Maybe some of the experienced Mom's who frequent this forum will be able to come up with some useful comments and suggestions, too.
KIds, from very early on, vary in personality, and for instance, some will be more dominant or even inclined to bully others. But generally, like adults, kids tend to do more of whatever is rewarding for them, and less of whatever is either not rewarding or has unpleasant consequences.
The prime currency at this age ( and an important one at any age ) is attention. Negative attention may be felt as better than no attention, and some kids want more of it than others. SO withdrawing attention, such as the now well-known placement in the Naughty Chair, or placing in the cot without stroking, verbal or physial, after clearly saying NO to whatever bad behaviour was being shown ; PLUS - giving lavish and pleasant attention when you can catch him doing what you DO want him to do, can diminish the unwelcome behaviours and increase those you desire.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kitty | 2012/09/14

Thanks for the comment doc.
Serious? I also don''t know if he knows he''s hurting others. And maybe this will pass, I''m just affraid it might become a permanent thing if nothing is done about it. It''s my first child, so I''m really in the dark about such things.I don''t want to constantly hit his hands or say NO or whatever. One just wants to do whats best you know. It''s so difficult, because if I put him with other children I have to stand by and watch him the whole time and keep saying no, don''t do that, no don''t do this, don''t hurt the baby ect. I let him play with others and just relax.

Reply to Kitty
Posted by: Seriously? | 2012/09/14

10 months is still a baby and at his age he certainly does not know that he is hurting other children - he cannot possibly know that at his age! This all sounds very strange, 2 -3 weeks old and had bursts of anger??? I have three children (all grown up) and can remember when they were little they also shook and threw their toys around and as for taking toys off another child, also quite normal behaviour. I have nieces and nephews aged 3 - 5 years who still take toys off each other. I am no expert, but I think at age 10 months, he is too young to want to " dominate/control"  a situation. You should show your disapproval when he hurts you or others by telling him NO, not to do that, but I cannot guarantee that he will understand, he is after all only 10 months old.

Reply to Seriously?
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/14

Hey, Kitty, some mornings I'm not sure if I'm the right person to ask, either ! Maybe some of the experienced Mom's who frequent this forum will be able to come up with some useful comments and suggestions, too.
KIds, from very early on, vary in personality, and for instance, some will be more dominant or even inclined to bully others. But generally, like adults, kids tend to do more of whatever is rewarding for them, and less of whatever is either not rewarding or has unpleasant consequences.
The prime currency at this age ( and an important one at any age ) is attention. Negative attention may be felt as better than no attention, and some kids want more of it than others. SO withdrawing attention, such as the now well-known placement in the Naughty Chair, or placing in the cot without stroking, verbal or physial, after clearly saying NO to whatever bad behaviour was being shown ; PLUS - giving lavish and pleasant attention when you can catch him doing what you DO want him to do, can diminish the unwelcome behaviours and increase those you desire.

Reply to cybershrink

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