advertisement
Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012/08/20

Please help

I have a 14month old son. Babyday and I are no longer together. Whenever I need him to baby-sit he wants to take the child for paternity tests (PT). He’ s been singing the paternity song since the child was born. Whenever I ask him when are we going for PT its either he doesn’ t have money or time. 6months ago I managed to raise money for PT and he didn’ t want to go, he said he doesn’ t have time. It’ s strange because we meet almost every month so that he could buy our son stuff that he needs.

He does maintain our son. He pays our son’ s fees at crè che, he buys the child food and clothes. I work shifts and mostly at night. I have a sister that helps me with our son. Sometimes I really need help like this weekend. I’ m doing morning shift starting my shift at 06h00 and I’ m going to knock off at 13h00. My sister has to go to Limpopo for a funeral. She’ s leaving this Friday, and coming back late on Saturday. I can’ t afford to miss work I need him to baby-sit from 6am until 13h30

Am I asking for too much? Should I accept that he doesn’ t want to help with the child? Can the law force him to help sometimes? I don’ t know what to do.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Wouldn't it be worth everybody's while tom actually have paternity tests and sort out clearly exactly who the daddy is ? If its not him, you can hardly expect him to provide maintenance or baby-sitting, but if it is him, then maintenance becomes an important issue and one he can't just choose to ignore.
Peternity testing does NOT take much time at all, so he can't be allowed the excuse of not having time. Maybe if you went the alternative route of going throuh the maintenance court asking for the court to order him to pay maintenance, he'd quickly find time for such testing. But from your comments, it sounds as though he is being reasonably generous in paying towards the child's costs ( rather a lot if he truly believes he isn't the father ).
If he is the bio-dad, then maintenance law can require him to provide financial help, maybe even contributing towards the cost of paying a babysitter on occasion, but it cant and wont require him to provide services like babysitting nor can it require him to love the child.
Have you no other friends who are reliable enough to occasionally babysit for you ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Alexa | 2012/08/20

The child''s father is not obligated to ''babysit'' his own son when it suites you..
Until you sort out the paternity issues (and everything else that comes after it such as custody,visitation, maintenence etc.) legally, you are solely responsible for your child. I''m relatively sure that you can get some form of a court order to get a paternity test done, maybe someone on the family law expert forum can give you advise about where to start but you need to get the legalities sorted out as soon as possible.

Even with all of those things sorted out, whether he decides to help you out when you have a situtation like this weekend completely depends on how reasonable/understanding he is.

It''s strange that he helps out financially while complaining about paternity? From everything you have written, he doesn''t sound very bright or mature or responsible..why on earth breed with such a person?

Reply to Alexa
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/20

Wouldn't it be worth everybody's while tom actually have paternity tests and sort out clearly exactly who the daddy is ? If its not him, you can hardly expect him to provide maintenance or baby-sitting, but if it is him, then maintenance becomes an important issue and one he can't just choose to ignore.
Peternity testing does NOT take much time at all, so he can't be allowed the excuse of not having time. Maybe if you went the alternative route of going throuh the maintenance court asking for the court to order him to pay maintenance, he'd quickly find time for such testing. But from your comments, it sounds as though he is being reasonably generous in paying towards the child's costs ( rather a lot if he truly believes he isn't the father ).
If he is the bio-dad, then maintenance law can require him to provide financial help, maybe even contributing towards the cost of paying a babysitter on occasion, but it cant and wont require him to provide services like babysitting nor can it require him to love the child.
Have you no other friends who are reliable enough to occasionally babysit for you ?

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement