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Question
Posted by: Jacklyn | 2012/08/02

Please help

I''ve been married for 4 years now and along the way I''ve just completely lost interest in having sex.

I have a very demanding 18 month old son.I also work full time and have to see to everything at home once back from work.

My husband is very demanding when it comes to having sex. My lack thereof is causing so much problems in the marriage and what turns me off is that whenever my husband opens his mouth it''s always sex sex sex.

Is there anything that i can use to enhance my libido? Please help.

Really desperate

Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Men struggle to understand that women just do not have energy for anything else extra if they have to fulfil all the roles you have now! Make time for 'couch time ' - your 18 month old must also learn that Mommy and Daddy have special time (even a weekend with granny or babysitter will also not harm the baby and will do wonders for you and your marriage). Explain to your husband your schedule and let him suggest how he can help to take away some of the pressure. You can reward him and before long everything will be back to normal again! Let him do certain chores for you at night and get the baby in a good routine that you and your husband have time for each other from 08h00 onwards. Deidre - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: angel | 2012/08/04

lol you guys are rude i say tell him u need help you guys must take time off geta nanny u did say u work so u can afford it and tell him him nagging about it dont help

Reply to angel
Posted by: A MAN AND HUSBAND | 2012/08/04

I will try and post from a mans point of view, we also have jobs, pressure and help as much as possible around the home, but to be too tired for even 30 minutes of passionate sex is in a mans mind set showing you dont need us, or we feel un wanted, sex drives us, and I am in the same position, even a little sex joke is considered distasteful, and the quicky sex, or mercy sex does not satisfy us, we want to be wanted, and the danger comes when all of a sudden someone wants us, we are so used to been unwanted that the excitement of that can lead to a temptation we cant resist. Please make time and keep things fresh and exciting for your husbands, renew your mind to sex, and make the time, 3 or 4 times a week, dont anyone tell me they cant find 2 houyrs a week to just have fun, you will have a better marriage, and you will keep your mans mind on you, and not wondering, please ladies see the bigger picture, men find sex a stress reliever, and you mey feel the opposite, but please find that happy medium, because no or little sex in marriage will lead to a breakdown of that relationship

Reply to A MAN AND HUSBAND
Posted by: Kevin | 2012/08/03

Here''s a man''s point of view...My wife is always tired when it comes to sex. She has a igh pressure job and handles our 2 year old. She leaves to work at 6h30am and back home at 3 or 4pm. I have grown to understand why she is tired and respect the fact that she is never in the mood for sex. We have sex once a month and that''s more then enough for her, however, I try and help where and when I can and I too get tired from working and home stuff. I also have a pressurised job and end up sitting and looking after our kid till 9 or 10pm while she is sleeping. I for one feel for sex almost everyday. And if a man doesnt get it at home, he is going to look elsewhere for it. So dont crib when the man looses interest in a woman because " she tired" . I believe I work just as hard as my wife does.

Reply to Kevin
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/08/03

Men struggle to understand that women just do not have energy for anything else extra if they have to fulfil all the roles you have now! Make time for 'couch time ' - your 18 month old must also learn that Mommy and Daddy have special time (even a weekend with granny or babysitter will also not harm the baby and will do wonders for you and your marriage). Explain to your husband your schedule and let him suggest how he can help to take away some of the pressure. You can reward him and before long everything will be back to normal again! Let him do certain chores for you at night and get the baby in a good routine that you and your husband have time for each other from 08h00 onwards. Deidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: Tanya | 2012/08/02

GOGO - you are a chauvinistic pig of the highest degree! Your comments are the lowest of the low and are NOT appreciated or helpful to anyone but your fellow swine in your pigsty whilst you''re all rolling in your cr@p and mud and eating rubbish.

Reply to Tanya
Posted by: Magriet | 2012/08/02

@ Gogo
Women are not robots! we can''t just lay there and open our legs. We have emotions and feelings and need to be in the mood.

If we feel forced to have sex, we become resentful and even want it less - snow ball effect.

Reply to Magriet
Posted by: Gogo | 2012/08/02

Just lay there and open your legs

Reply to Gogo
Posted by: brendon | 2012/08/02

dump his demandin-|-if he only wants sex then he does not love you

Reply to brendon
Posted by: Chris758 | 2012/08/02

Jacklyn I know you now feel that sex has become a job and you are too tired to take on extra work. Your husband should help you with the washing up, the laundry etc. The baby is his as well!!!

Tell him that and that if he helps you and you are fully relaxed and not tired, the sex part of the marraige will pick up again and be great.

if he demands sex and does not care how you feel he will loose the love and respect you give him.

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: mario | 2012/08/02

ithere is a powered called sex sugar,take note this is not the drug sugars,lol...works wonders

Reply to mario
Posted by: joe | 2012/08/02

Hopefully your husband help with the chores around the house, you are to tired to think of sex

Reply to joe

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