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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012-06-18

Please help

I am pregnant with my first child''s father who is married, it only happend one night which I know was wrong. I haven''t told him about the pregnancy and I''m thinking of abortion but I''m not sure if that is what I want to do. Any advice please

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Please see a good local counsellor, to support you at this time, and to help you explore all available options, and not to make a hasty decision either way, which you might come to regret.
Don't you think you also need to tell the father, as he needs to know, and should provide proper support for you, again, whatever you decide. Yes, of course, it was very unwise to have sex with a married man, especially with inadequate or no contraception, but that mistake was his as well as yours.

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Hopeless | 2012-06-18

Anon - when you were busy having sex with this married man did you have any concerns about your parents or the community? Were you scared of your parents reaction when you were busy having sex with this married man? No? So why are you so concerned and scared now?
Whatever you decide to do about this innocent child - shame on you.

Reply to Hopeless
Posted by: ME | 2012-06-18

Please think very carefully before you decide to have an abortion. It may seem like the right choice at the time and the easiest thing for everyone... but it can have long lasting psychological effects. Trust me... I carry the regret with me every single day. You need to tell the father - he has a right to know, but DONT let him make the choice for you or try to manipulate you into doing it! That was my mistake and I have never forgiven myself for allowing him to do so.
Go and see a councellor first.... if you''re not sure if you can live with the choice of having an abortion then don''t do it - it doesnt just make the " problem"  disappear.

Reply to ME
Posted by: Anon | 2012-06-18

I think my main concern is what my parents and the community will say because we live in the same area should I decide to keep the child. We do have a 5 year old son together which was before his marraige, but I''m just so scared of my family''s reaction to this.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Liza | 2012-06-18

This is an extremely personal choice that no-one else can make for you. You have to decide whether you''re willing to live with the guilt for the rest of your life if you do go through with an abortion, whether you''d rather give the child up for adoption - or whether you might just be able to raise the child yourself. Just remember that it took two to tango and that firstly - the father has NO say in whether you have an abortion or not, and secondly - the father is also financially responsible and should be held accountable.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-06-18

Please see a good local counsellor, to support you at this time, and to help you explore all available options, and not to make a hasty decision either way, which you might come to regret.
Don't you think you also need to tell the father, as he needs to know, and should provide proper support for you, again, whatever you decide. Yes, of course, it was very unwise to have sex with a married man, especially with inadequate or no contraception, but that mistake was his as well as yours.

Reply to cybershrink

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