Our expert says:
You seem to be expecting something more concrete and specific than is possible. If there is indeed manipulation, etc, among adult siblings, surely you know it ? If its toxic, it is so because that's how you experience it.
If your siblings cause you grief and distress, then you don't have to have any contact with them at all. And there is no reason whatever why you should feel you have to "forgive" them - I wish there were criminal penalties against people who insist other people must "forgive".
These people have no power over you and your feelings except for what you choose to give them, and if you choose not to allow them to be important to you, and not to accept their invitations to be hurt, they have no such power.
A counsellor may be able to help you achieve this
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