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Question
Posted by: Nondy | 2011/01/20

Please Help

Cyber pls assist me , my 7 yr old son has started grade 1 in one of the multir schools, for the first few days he was very excited about the big school, suddenly he does not want to go to scholl .He has anxiety sign like feeling cold ,running stomach in the morning and when I am dropping him at school in the morning he cries.I tried to find out from him the problem,he is saying that his teacher shouts a lot (and I know he does not like shouting) when i ask if he is the only one who gets shouted he says no but sometimes he is the first one to be shouted and everyday he comes back and tell me that they were shouted in the class.I went to the teacher and i was very mild because I did not her to think that I am accusing her of anything ,I just raised the concern I have of my son who does not want to come to school and has anxiety symptoms as explained.She said she is fine in class she has''nt noticed anything.The problem still occurs I dont know what to do ,pls advise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Nondy,
let's see what the other experienced moms in our readers can suggest. You don't mention whether this is perhaps his first experience of school, in which case many aspects of the experience could feel strange to him, including separation from you and his home. If he was at nursery or similar school before, ten that will be less strange, but the size and scale and busyness of the Big School can be bewildering for a while.
Maybe its the over-all sound of the teachers and kids that bothers him.
Explain that the teacher thinks he's fine and doesn't intend to shout at him any more than at other people, and that he need not take it personally. If the problem persists, maybe chat to the principal ; maybe this particular tacher is a bit loud and maybe he could swop to a class with a calmer and quieter teacher ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nondy | 2011/01/20

Thanx Trace, I will do and I will post you the feedback.

Reply to Nondy
Posted by: Trace | 2011/01/20

he sounds like a very sensitive child. Why not try this technique and see if it work, get him an object small enough to keep in his pocket or bag (eg. a minature angel/fairy, or even a special coin) and tell him everytime he feels anxious because of teachers shouting he should reach into his pocket for his object and remember that you love him and it does not matter what others say or do you always going to be there for him. Just a thought see if it works.

Reply to Trace
Posted by: Nondy | 2011/01/20

It is not his first time at school,even from his previous school(nursery) he sometimes came back telling me that Teacher so& so smacked them or shouted but he never felt like not going to school the folllowing day , he actually enjoyd going to school. what worries me is that he will end up not having confidence in him and low self esteem.If I go to the principal how shoul I adress this in otherwords the approach because i dont want them to end up having negetive attitude towards my child even if they shift him from this class to another things may worsen because obviuosly as teachers they ll talk about it. Yes Trace she an older woman perhaps late 50''s. This is also affecting me because it is not nice to leave your child crying at school and imagine 5dys a week you at school you only rest for 2 dys so this is just not healthy for a child.

Reply to Nondy
Posted by: Trace | 2011/01/20

Teachers to such young kids should not be loud or shouting at all as they mould them for the rest of their education. And of course she will not admit to you that their is a problem. Is she an older teacher, as I find the older one''s have less patience from my own child''s experience.
Obviously you dont want to create trouble for the teacher as that will determine the way she treats your child, all you can do is instill in your child to be a strong individual and no matter how much she shouts and moans he should not let it affect him, if his work is done on time, homework etc he should not be in too much trouble so she will have no reason to shout and go off at him. The stronger the childs character the less likely outsiders reactions will affect them, so work on that.

Reply to Trace
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/20

Hi Nondy,
let's see what the other experienced moms in our readers can suggest. You don't mention whether this is perhaps his first experience of school, in which case many aspects of the experience could feel strange to him, including separation from you and his home. If he was at nursery or similar school before, ten that will be less strange, but the size and scale and busyness of the Big School can be bewildering for a while.
Maybe its the over-all sound of the teachers and kids that bothers him.
Explain that the teacher thinks he's fine and doesn't intend to shout at him any more than at other people, and that he need not take it personally. If the problem persists, maybe chat to the principal ; maybe this particular tacher is a bit loud and maybe he could swop to a class with a calmer and quieter teacher ?

Reply to cybershrink

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