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Question
Posted by: minki | 2010/09/10

Please help

pls help
1. where exactly or how can i download the NEW childrens act? i see it on google but dnt know how to download actual document.
2. My husb and I tried a mediator route and after the first session this was my opinion:

Yes very neutral independent 3rd party but when it came to the part where my husb spoke about what he would like ito contact with the two kids 7 and 3 it took a turn. I objected to the amount of time he was requesting even though HE says i can have sole care of the kids so i voiced out that i think he is asking for too much time with them based on fact that he has not been able to prove up to now that 1 he has the time and 2 that he is a fit father. Also because of the ages of the kids i explained to him and mediator that i was willing to give him contact but not as much as he claims he wants and that i am willing to relook once kids are older and i see that he is indeed playing his part rather than making empty promises and not showing any love towards them as he is currently doing.Mediator basically told me that he has every right to ask for the amount of time he is asking (every 2nd weekend from Fri - Sunday night) and half of every schl holiday. Currently he works and goes with friends and only sees the kids 3 hrs on the weekend while we live together stl married and yet he wants this in a divorce. He told the mediator that if he cant take 2 wks off during the holidays whn kids are with him and maybe he only gets 4 days off he will get sum1 to care for the kids in the day and he will see them at nite whn bak from work!!!! My argument is why get a stranger when i am there, he could just leave them where they will be comfortable and loved and fetch them when he can be with them. I said he could indeed have every 2 weekends but not to sleep and every Wedn night for 2hrs until they older. Surely that is reasonable from my side. Mediator explained that i cannot bring his actions of the past to date into the future he has to proof himself and if he fails then i can take action.

SORRY I CAN T WAIT FOR SUMTHING TO HAPPEN TO MY KIDS WHAT ACTION THEN... IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE AND THEN WHAT! I AM TRYING TO CRY OUT NOW ALREADY THAT I DONT THINK THEY WILL BE SAFE WITH HIM AND THAT HE IS UNFIT NOW IM BEING TOLD TO WAIT FOR SUMTHING TO HAPPEN!

Surely this is not right surely i have rights too ito my motherly instinct and i know im not bein unreasonable just cautious. They argued that if i can leave them with him for a day then a night wont make a difference? i know my kids at night better than they do they want to be in a safe constant place not choppin and changing.

How do i fight them on this? it made me feel like the mediator is on his side only re this one.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageFamily law expert

You can download the Children's Act from this link:
http://www.info.gov.za/view/DownloadFileAction?id=67892

I understand your predicament on the children aspects and will advise that you request the Family Advocate to investigate the matter. All decisions relating to children should always be in the interests of the Children, not the interests of the parents. It is important that children have as much contact possible with both parents, unless if this is not in the interests of the children. At the age of 3 you may still limit access somewhat. You can always limit the access later, should you find that it will not be in the best interests of the children.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: family law expert | 2010/09/12

You can download the Children's Act from this link:
http://www.info.gov.za/view/DownloadFileAction?id=67892

I understand your predicament on the children aspects and will advise that you request the Family Advocate to investigate the matter. All decisions relating to children should always be in the interests of the Children, not the interests of the parents. It is important that children have as much contact possible with both parents, unless if this is not in the interests of the children. At the age of 3 you may still limit access somewhat. You can always limit the access later, should you find that it will not be in the best interests of the children.

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