Posted by: Angie | 2009-02-02

Please Help!!

I would realy like someone to help me &  my boyfriend!!!
You see my boyfriend gets a hard-on VERY quickly, even if i only touches his arm / put my feet against his! Don' t get me wrong, its a good thing that he is so interested, but the sex is over SOOO quickly. And he comes alot.

What can we / he do, to prevent this from happening so often. we can' t even kiss in public,because he gets arroused!

Can you please give me advise!!

Thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Angie,

I am firstly happy that you are able to see your boyfriend's arousability in response to your touch as "a good thing". The problem as you described is that sex is over soooo quickly. What you are describing sounds like what we call premature ejaculation, which means that the man acheives ejaculation sooner than he and his partner wishes or are satisfied with. Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual problem experienced by men and which impacts sexual relationships.

It would be advisable that your boyfriend consult a sex therapist who would offer him help in learning better ejaculatory control. It is a process involving teaching a man to become more conscious of the sensation build up in his penis as he gets closer to orgasm. The man is then taught to understand that he has a "point of no return", which means a level of sensation in his penis where he no longer has any voluntary control of his orgasm and ejaculation. The man is then taught to identify a level of sensation in his penis just before this "point of no return", where he is still in control of his orgasm and ejaculation. The man then is taught to undertake a range of masturbation exercises whereby he learns to keep himself within the range of sensation where he still has control and learns how to extend that period of time. There is a point in the therapy where if the man is in a relationship, the partner is also involved in the process of learning ejaculatory control.

It is also understood that the longer the period between orgasms are for a man, the higher his level of sensitivity is and the more prone he is to premature ejaculation. The more regularly a man ejaculates he also finds that he may last longer.

I hope this gives you a kick start.

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