Our expert says:
Sorry to hear of this most unfortunate marriage. He sounds very immature, and selfish and irresponsible. But you need to make up your mind what you want. The options would seem to be these : (a) Accept him as the disspointment he is, and carry on as you have been, and drop the new friend, as you don't want to be unfaithful while married ; (b) face up to him and make it very clear - either he joins you sincerely in marriage counselling, and changing his bad ways so as to make this marriage work for all of you, and not merely just to suit him, or otherwise you will consult a lawyer and arrange for a divorce. If he isn't man enough to change for the better and invest in the marriage, and you go the divorce route, then you would be free to explore further the possibilities of the relationship with the new guy ( first making sure he really is as good as he seems ). Don't rush into that, but take time to get to know him properly.
It should not be left up to your husband to decide whether and when to support his kids, go to maintenance copurt and get the court to decide how much he should pay, and it will then require him to do so every month.
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