Our expert says:
So this is a relationship of some shared interests, not about sex ; And apparently based on affection rather than love.
About the snoring, a couple of thoughts. Most snorers do this mainly when they lie on their back, and sewing something like a cotton reel in the back of his pyjama top or Tshirt, so it mildly hurts whenever he rolls onto his back, can often do the trick. If the snoring is very loud, and presumably you listen to this, are there periods when it suddenly goes silent and he may not be breathing for short periods ? If so, this could be a sleep apnoea problem, and need specialist assessment.
Every advocate I have known earns a lot of money, so Maria's points make good sense, to review with him how he can be short of cash. Are there work problems so he is actually earning very little ? Or is he spending unwisely on unnecessary things - it can be drink, drugs ( both of which can contribute to heavy snoring in sleep ) ; or gambling, or whatever ? To get the point of risking losing one's home, is very highly unusual for an advocate. If there is a shortage of work at the higher level ( and I know this can be so, as fewer and fewer people can afford to hire an advocate ) is there other legal work he could so, as well ? Is he, perhaps depressed, and this could be not only making him obviously miserable, but reducing his ability to work efficiently ?
A rank and detailed discusion of all such actors is needed ; maybe with the help of an experienced counsellor, to make such discussions productive ?
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