Posted by: SG | 2012-01-20

Please advice

My son is 11yrs old, when he was 1yr old his father &  I separated. The problem is I have been trying from a long tym to get him to sleep in his own room, I bought him a tv for his room, new beddings changed the room to how he wanted it, he slept for a while but middel of the nite he gets up and jumps into my bed, I am soo tired of talking to him. The other thing is he is constantly in fear at nite, when we sleep the door must be closed, something must be against the door like a towel to prevent the door squeaking, the built in cupboards must not be left slightly opened, my room is at the back so when the lights are off it is extemely dark, thats a problem i have to have a lamp on or else he will not sleep, I usually leave the curtains tied up coz I am on the top floor and no1 can see inside this is a prblem for my son he make sure he draws the curtain, this is frustrating me soo much and I keep telling him that he has nothing to fear ... any advise would be appreciated. Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageBehaviour modification

Firstly you need to discuss this issue with your son during the day, not at night. Explain your case to him as you would an adult, not a child. There is nothing wrong with a night light if it solves the problem. Then turn it into a game. Empower your son to realize that he is more powerful than anything that could possibly be in his room. Ask him to explain what may be hiding in the cupboards and turn the perceived fears into a funny experience. For example when someone is afraid of spiders, we get them to imagine the spider wearing a pink wig and sunglasses, humming the theme tune to the Lone-Ranger. This works particularly well with kids. Next, establish a reward system. Make a star chart and reward your son with a gold star each night he stays in his own room. When you reach 10 stars he can pick a prize of his choosing. After a couple of weeks it will most likely be resolved.

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