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Question
Posted by: Palesa | 2011/10/26

Pillow Talk

I have a very strange boyfriend who does not like pillow talks. We see each other almost everyday and when he is at my house we sit in the living room and chart and do whatever and when its time to sleep we go to the bedroom and yeah we sleep no pillow talk or nothing same thing when I am at his house I asked him and he said bedroom is meant for sleeping it is not a court room. I dont like that especially after making love i want him to hold me and talk all this lovey dovey in my ears but hey THE BEDROOM IS NOT COURT ROOM. How do i get my boyfriend to love the pillow talk

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hmm. Talking pillows would bother me, too. If you mean pillow-talk ( other than the Doris Day movie ) as chatting to your partner when you go to bed together, well, I suppose tastes differ. Many people, like him, would consider the bedroom for sleeping, and would be delighted to chat with you before going to bed ( do you sit quietly all evening, and only start chatting when you get to bed ? )
Now, when you mean simply saying something tender and pleasant after making love, rather than holding a detailed debate about the Greek Financial Crisis, then I'm with you - that's not too much to expect. But some people, maybe especially men, don't like to talk about emotional topics or when they feel emotional.
Will he at least listen if you murmer sweet things in his ears after sex ? Have you ( out of bed !) discussed this with him in a calm way ? Has he nothing to say but "a bed room is not a court room" ? Interesting choice of words, too - a Court Room suggests he feels accused of something and needing to defend himself, which is a worrying thought.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: XXX | 2011/10/26

As far as I know most men don''t really do the " pillow talk"  thing after sex.We just enjoy the moment and want to drift into a good sleep.
Try talking before making love.You can also try telling him that you would like to chat a bit after sex as you enjoy it and it makes you feel closer to him.
Good luck

Reply to XXX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/26

Hmm. Talking pillows would bother me, too. If you mean pillow-talk ( other than the Doris Day movie ) as chatting to your partner when you go to bed together, well, I suppose tastes differ. Many people, like him, would consider the bedroom for sleeping, and would be delighted to chat with you before going to bed ( do you sit quietly all evening, and only start chatting when you get to bed ? )
Now, when you mean simply saying something tender and pleasant after making love, rather than holding a detailed debate about the Greek Financial Crisis, then I'm with you - that's not too much to expect. But some people, maybe especially men, don't like to talk about emotional topics or when they feel emotional.
Will he at least listen if you murmer sweet things in his ears after sex ? Have you ( out of bed !) discussed this with him in a calm way ? Has he nothing to say but "a bed room is not a court room" ? Interesting choice of words, too - a Court Room suggests he feels accused of something and needing to defend himself, which is a worrying thought.

Reply to cybershrink

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