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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2009-06-04

Physical, Emotional &  Psycological Abuse

Last night, when we got home at about 5pm. I cooked supper. After eating, I washed the dishes. Then I was running the bath to wash the kids. They we busy watching a TV show with their dad and didn' t want to co operate. This was becoming stressful for me as I was already tired from doing everything without my husband helping. I then told the kids that I am going to switch the TV off so that there will be nothing to watch and I want them to get to the bathroom. Still they refused, so I switched the TV off and was trying to now get them to go to the bathroom, My husband got so furious that he started shouting at me, swore and me and as I was leaning to try and pick up the 2yr old, My husband kicked me across the tummy and carried on swearing. Through all this I never said a word, the kids were now scared and worried. Asking me what daddy is doing and saying that he is naughty. This isn' t the 1st time, he has times where he lashes out at me and hurt my physically. Pull my hair, slap me, kick me, etc. Funny thing is, he is such a nice person to other people. He never even apologizes for his actions. He constantly tells me how useless &  stupid I am. That has has done better b4 when it comes to women... Sometimes when am really tired and not do all the housework . For example, lets say I would do EVERYTHING and maybe leave the dishes, he will get home and start a fuss about it and then tell me that I am the filthiest woman he has ever met and known. Thing is he himself is not much of a :good husband/father" . He can' t provide for us, struggles to make rent money, buy food, etc. Yet I never talk down on him. I try to encourage him and that the business will do well, etc. He doesn' t even care when he is watching TV with a show that has explicit scenes 4 the kids. Should I mention that, he starts telling me that there is something wrong with me, that am sick, etc WHAT AM I TO DO? Logic says LEAVE, emotions says STAY 4 the kids'  sake

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Our expert says:
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Plan to leave as soon as you can make plans to do so safely, and with the children --- call a local agency like POWA wich provides special advice and help to abused women, for more specific advice on how to do so and how to keep yourself and the children, safe. You could then also, with their help, apply to the court for a restraining order forbidding him from approaching you. And you could apply for him to have to pay maintenance to help with the costs of your caring for the kids. Once you are safely out, don't consider taking him back unless, perhaps, he has sincerely undergone a lengthy period of proper expert counselling to break his bad abusive habits. And even then, be cautious. DO not accept mere apologies --- abusers almost always apologise, and then go on to abuse again

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Latoya | 2009-06-04

Emotional and Psychological abuse is the worst form of abuse, i don' t think any man who loves his wife can abuse him.
i was married to the most wonderful man although we are divorced, he had never said any word that will hurt me or hurt me physcically, i think i got one or 2 slap from him for the 9 years of our marriage, but he apologised profusely, he didn' t do it again, i got the best respect i ever wanted from that man. today when i meet other men, i want to compare them to him and i know they are far away from him with respect for women.
i don' t think anyone who kicks his wife or swear at him calling him all sorts of words is loving.
talk to him, ask him to give you respect.

Reply to Latoya
Posted by: Lady man | 2009-06-04

Get out. He will only harm you more in the future. Did you ever ask him to go for counsilling with you.

Reply to Lady man
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-06-04

GET OUT FOR THE KIDS SAKE, IM LIVING PROOF, ITS THE BEST THING YOU WILL DO FOR THEM AND FOR YOURSELF. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO SLAP YOU AROUND. YOU WILL GET DEPRESSED STRESSED AND THE CHILDREN WILL SUFFER WITH BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS AND MAYBE EVEN ABUSE OF ANY KIND ISSUES, IM TELLING YOU GET OUT.

Reply to Anonymous

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