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Question
Posted by: Anon1 | 2010/05/24

Physical affection

Been married for 5 years and we''ve had a few ups &  downs (financial, day-to-day household issues) over the years and at this point in time the marriage is very stable and we really are good friends and enjoy spending time with each other.

I however do not enjoy physical contact at all - I get totally claustrophobic if my husband (or anyone) tries to give me a hug, I don''t enjoy kissing (he is a good kisser by the way) and I cannot handle sex. I cannot give you a spesific reason why I don''t, I just don''t- I have never enjoyed it. (and yes, I have experienced an orgasm before so I know what it''s all about). We were involved for a number of years before we got married so he knew what he was letting himself in for.

My hubbie is a very patient and understanding and please note that this issue does not lead to fights/threats etc. but obviously he would like to have more physical contact.

What could be wrong with me?? I know this is not normal behaviour- I''m just not attracted to people. I don''t believe a marriage councellor would be the best person to go and see in a situation like this (tried it but couldn''t get to the route of the " problem" )

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I note you say you have NEVER enjoyed physical contact, rather than seeing this as a recent development. And you also imply this is a broader issue, when you say "I'm just not attracted to people". A properly trained therapist / psychologist would probably be able to help, so long as you avoid analysits or any shrink who is psychoanalytically bent, as their methods don't work, and can get one bogged down in years of nattering.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/24

I note you say you have NEVER enjoyed physical contact, rather than seeing this as a recent development. And you also imply this is a broader issue, when you say "I'm just not attracted to people". A properly trained therapist / psychologist would probably be able to help, so long as you avoid analysits or any shrink who is psychoanalytically bent, as their methods don't work, and can get one bogged down in years of nattering.

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