advertisement
Question
Posted by: Zeta | 2010/04/27

permanent effects of porn?

My partner of many years seems to have discovered the joys of internet porn. First in secret, now openly. Downloading tonnes of videos. He is so used to the instant excitement of porn, " normal"  sex with me is no longer satisfying for him. I feel like a piece of meat being moved around. I might as well be a blowup doll!! I asked him and he said from the moment he watches porn to ejaculation is about 10 to 15 minutes, now with me it is about 40 minutes or longer...and a struggle at that. Its almost as if he now needs it to get excited...like a drug or something. I feel cheated. He refuses to cool down with the porn. Personally i feel offended by porn, but his " private"  business is slowly making me obsolete... He has made it clear that I must back off about his " hobby"  so he is willing to protect it at my cost. When i refuse sex and tell him to cozy up to his computer screen he becomes aggressive and takes it out on the children, with denials all round the next day. Is it true that he can become addicted to porn and permenantly ruin finding sex with a real live person satisfying?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Yes, there is such a thing as porn addiction -if this is the case he needs to consult a sexologist to help him with the matter. On the other hand I am concerned about your relationship that needs sorting out. It also appears that it has reached a point where you might have to consult a marriage counsellor.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Zeta | 2010/04/29

Thanks Condom Man, I will try to talk to him again, especially in the way you put it!!
Hi, Oldster, that is what is confusing to me, in the past he couldn''t keep his hands of me and we had lots of fun. Maybe there is something else going on that he is not talking about. And getting guys to talk....!!!

Reply to Zeta
Posted by: Oldster | 2010/04/28

Maybe you need to become a little bit more adventurous in the bedroom. Remember guys are very turned on by the visual and if you keep it all shielded away from him, under the blankets with the lights off, it can turn him off. The porn brings those images to life so as to speak even though its fantasy, in his mind its real and different. Try being more sexy for want of a better word and see if that helps.

Reply to Oldster
Posted by: Condom man | 2010/04/27

Yes, some men can become addicted to porn. In some cases it does no damage but in other cases there are negative effects on their relationship. Porn is a world of make belief. Seeing these sluts being shafted by monster sized dicks, seeing her face covered in 1/2 cup of semen (supposed to be semen) is very far from everyday life. There are many things missing in porn which 1 can only get in a relationship. The closeness, the warmth, the loving response, the satisfaction + bliss of having satisfied your partner + of having taken her onto another level + into another world  none of these things can be achieved by looking at porn. It''s ok to use porn for a quick masturbation session but if U have a loving partner then why go overboard with porn? As his partner U r also entitled to love, warmth, being made love to in every sense of the word, being taken on a journey that ends in bliss + complete satisfaction. It is your right + it''s time he realised that. By the way there is help for porn addiction, but like an alcoholic, nobody can force him to go for help. Have a good heart 2 heart talk with him + speak to him about your needs too. A good satisfying love life where both partners look after each others needs is like glue that holds a relationship together. My greatest satisfaction is not when I ejaculate, but when I see the pleasure I give my wife during lovemaking. Seeing her being in extacy, of having shattering orgasms, of taking her there, that is what really satifies me. Good luck.

Reply to Condom man

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement