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Posted by: help me | 2008/09/19

people plz help me out here

hi doc im 20 and so is my husband i had a miscarriage in feb and i picked up alot of weight abt 20 kgs to be precise.problem is our sex life is really suffering we havent been intimate for the past 2 months.so i spoke to him and we agreed to have a romantic evening tomorrow and try to work things out.i need some help with regards to wat position we can use because his much thinner then me at the moment.the missionary position is geting a bit boring and i dont enjoy giving him oral sex ive tried it twice and he enjoys it but am not confortable with it.please help me out

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

There are a number of things that can be done to 'spice' things up - but do beware, setting a specific night (i.e. a romantic night tomorrow night) can put a lot of pressure on things and my concern is that you could be very disappointed if things don't meet your expectations... It sounds like you think the intimacy is less because of your weight, if that is so, I think it is an idea for you to get some support to understand why this is happening. I'm guessing that you have struggled emotionally, and if so, could probably benefit from some form of counselling.
I am also wondering about your discomfort with oral sex - not that everyone likes it, but it can be made more pleasurable if you want to try it...use flavoured condoms, wash his penis as part of the foreplay, don't use only your mouth (i.e. trying to do it all with your mouth as if it's a vagina - it's not and it is uncomfortable to hold your mouth in this position for any length of time) - lick along the shaft, suck a little, use your hand to help, do it in a position where you control the depth his penis goes so that you don't gag.

Back to spicing things up - there are so many possibilities, where to begin?
- you could try things like teasing him (e.g. if he agrees, tie his hands up whilst you kiss and touch him all over. Even though you say you don't like oral sex, you could use little bits of oral sex as part of this 'play') as part of your foreplay. You could finish off on top of him - you sitting astride him and completing with penetration. This could also be stimulating for you if you rub your genital area over his penis.
- get some lubricant to enhance sensation - use this on him or yourself
- what about mutual oral sex - ('69') - lie on your side or kneel over him face to his genitals and your genitals to his face
- mutual stimulation by hand, perhaps talking through your fantasies or what you know turns him on
- rear entry sex (doggy style)
- sex in a place other than the bedroom (as long as it's still private)

|Why don't you ask him what he wants and think about what you are prepared to try...

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: bootylicious | 2008/09/29

hey girl - i weigh 100 and something kg' s and there' s nothing that i can' t do! First you need to be comfortable with yourself - you are not going to loose weight within a month - so does that mean you are going to be sexually starved? having sex is another way of burning calories - stretching those legs and all? the missionary position is one of the most enjoyable positions ever where you can get full penetration from your husband!! just relax and sit on top of this man facing the other way and enjoy him like never before.

Reply to bootylicious
Posted by: Nir | 2008/09/19


Hygiene is very important. Communication is also important.
Possibly try 69, Which might help. The decision is yours.

Also go to helath 24.com and under sex, ther is more info on the positions that will give more pleasure
Thank you.

Reply to Nir
Posted by: help me | 2008/09/19

thanx guys and i am working on the weight issue.i dont knw jk it just seems dirty to me the last time i did it i vomitted.n we love each other even though we going thru the lost of a child and other problems it will all work out getting married young is hard work.and he has never given me oral sex. thanx again guys

Reply to help me
Posted by: JK | 2008/09/19

You two are so young. Really hope you can sort something out. Why don' t you enjoy giving him oral. In all honesty I used to feel like that about oral. I thought to myself " I could never do that"  GROSS. But I have changed my mind and it' s something I enjoy thoughroughly with my bf. I really hope you could change your mind. Does he not taste that good to you. Hygiene is a must regarding oral. Do you enjoy receiving oral from him at all.
All the best.

Reply to JK
Posted by: Jj | 2008/09/19

hey girl,,try luz some weight& the positions that will do wonders for you is Doggy,Cowboy girl

Reply to Jj

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