Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2009-03-31

People / Crooks and my own bad judgement

Hi CS,
I am so frustrated and angry and more so with myself than anything else. I bought a beetle which cost me quite a bit to fix but it was not 100%. I sold it at a loss, but have now lost it completely, the person came across as someone trustworthy, but I was wrong. I stupidly did not get all his info but he kept contacting me promising to pay, asking me to meet him so that he can make a payment, etc. It has now been almost 5 mnths and he has only paid R600.00 which is basically my phone bill in trying to get through to him
I went to the police in December already and have been there subsequently as well but they cannot help me, we had an agreement thus it is a civil matter. I just can' t understand that people can misuse others like this, I would never be able to do something like this and sleep comfortably at night. I wonder sometimes what the hell did I do to have so much bad luck, because people say " you sow what you reep" , so if this is true then I have or must have done something terrible to someone.
My doctor' s want me to forget about it and move on, I cannot, it is a lot of money and I am not rockerfella that can write it off. It is tiriing that I keep making the same mistakes and keep loosing.
How do I find this person when I only have a name and some cell numbers. I believe he is having a tough time and I believe it is because he is not living up to the payment of the volla, it is basically theft.
With everything else I am really fedup with life in totality because whenever I start making headway I get hit back down, things go horribly wrong and I cannot get to my psychologist or psychiatrist and I can feel things sliding, I don' t want to do anything, but force myself to. I don' t work as efficiently and I don' t even bother to cook or anything like that, my daughter is away with her cousin for the holiday' s and the little one loves eggs and yogurt and I feel guilty.
Why does this keep happening? Is it because I am bi-polar and do this on the spur of the moment, impulsively, without thinking it through and then why on earth am I here, for what? Why bother trying to get better when everytime you do, the wind in knocked out of your sales and you are thrown like a wet rag in the corner, all alone, befuddled and don' t give a damn. I know I have a lot to be greatful for, or so I am constantly told and I am grateful for it but only because I feel guilty about not wanting to be part of this blady life anymore.
I was asked by my psychiatrist how I would go about changing things in my life and that was the last time I saw her and haven' t be able to go back and it is already been a while and I haven' t been motivated to even look at it because why bother, I can' t change anything, what has happened has happened and what is going to be will be, nothing I do ever changes anything, and if I try something is only going to go wrong, so as they say in Afrikaans, " ek ploeter voort"  with no goal, no reason, no need, no power, no will , no nothing. My kids deserve more but I don' t want to do it anymore, it is only going to fail.

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Our expert says:
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Maybe you were a little impulsive, and there are predators out there --- not everyone, but a little predator goes a long way. Chec out legal advice --- I think some lawyers, through the Law Society, still offer an initial 30 minutes free consultation which may be enough to check out how you might bring a case against this fraud, and your nearest Law School may have a free law clinic, for even more advice and help. If the guy can be got legally, go for it. But don't tie yourself up to him psychologically --- he took value from you financially, don't give him more to steal from you, psychologically. Work with your docs to understand how this went wrong, in the sense of how best to avoid such events in the future.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Zee | 2009-03-31

Mail me zee dot help4you at gmaildot com

Reply to Zee
Posted by: Zee | 2009-03-31

Mail me only is you are in Cape Town


Reply to Zee
Posted by: Merl | 2009-03-31

first of all, you HAVE to (and i know its hard sometimes) stop feeling sorry for yourself! We are all going thru tough times at the moment, some financially, others at work, others in bad marriages etc, you are not alone! Get a grip, focus on the good things in your life (you say you have a daughter) well that is one good thing to focus on! sitting around feeling bitter, sad, angry and hurt is not going to help at all! As for the car thing, unfortunately these things happen to the best of us, its not necessarily a case of " sow what you reap" . Perhaps you have learnt something out of that! Careful who you trust! Make small changes in your life as hard as it may be. When you do feel like giving up think of those who are worse off! O and NEVER EVER forget to pray! good luck

Reply to Merl
Posted by: ME | 2009-03-31

Beyond, my advise is to go and open a case of theft against the person that took ur car without paying, cause this is what he has done. See how quickly he will respond.

Reply to ME

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