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Question
Posted by: CM | 2010/01/11

PENDING DIVORCE

My husband instituted divorce proceedings against me in Sept 09. The reason being he met a women in July 09 who is divorced and convinced him that single is the way to go. We are married for almost 21 years. I recently moved out as I could not take it emotionally. Hubby wants us to remain friends and lovers. I feel a lot of hatred towards him. While still living with him the other women used to phone in my presence but he would cover this up by saying it was his sister. He was not providing at home but he bought this women a christmas gift but nothing for the kids for Xmas. He not only emotionally and verbally abused me but he also physically assaulted the kids 3 days before we left the marital home. I feel so disrespected by him. How do I stand my ground against this man who is very controlling.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, as a divorce she's probably not an advocate of marriage. You need good legal advice - I think courts ought to award generous maintenance payments to a spouse so wronged for such frivolous reasons, though I gather this doesn't usually happen.
What right has he to ask you to remain a friend or lover after what he plans to do for such entirely selfish reasons ? Make sure a court orders him tom pay maximum maintenance, and that it recognizes his abusive behaviour towards you and the children. Paying maintenance, which is his responsibility, does not need to mean that he, as an abuser, has any right to access to the children

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/12

Well, as a divorce she's probably not an advocate of marriage. You need good legal advice - I think courts ought to award generous maintenance payments to a spouse so wronged for such frivolous reasons, though I gather this doesn't usually happen.
What right has he to ask you to remain a friend or lover after what he plans to do for such entirely selfish reasons ? Make sure a court orders him tom pay maximum maintenance, and that it recognizes his abusive behaviour towards you and the children. Paying maintenance, which is his responsibility, does not need to mean that he, as an abuser, has any right to access to the children

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: XXX | 2010/01/11

I agree with Maria,dump him and move on.Don' t even consider being his lover,what a joke.
It might be tough for you and your kids for a while but there is no point staying with this loser.
Get to a lawyer asap and make sure he pays maintenance for his children.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Maria | 2010/01/11

It sounds as if he wants to have his cake and eat it, and life does not work that way. You need a good lawyer to help you get what' s due to you.

Reply to Maria

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