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Question
Posted by: Lizelle | 2011/04/07

PE

Hi there,

Me and my husband recently got married and we never had sex before. He waited a long time and has previously had sex, but now he is ejaculating too quickly...what can we do to make it last longer....?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Men have to learn to control ejaculation if they are to attempt to 'pleasure' their partner through penetrative intercourse, as the male response is normally much quicker than is the case for females. The best way to learn this would be through masturbation where he learns to identify his physical signs (e.g. heightening sensation, a sensation in his testicles, heart rate) that he needs to ease off before ejaculation is inevitable (i.e. when the 'twitching' begins, it's probably too late). One way to help with this would be to try scoring his arousal on a scale of 0-10, with 8 being the point at which there's no turning back. He must aim to practice his slowing techniques when he reaches about 6/10. Slowing techniques could be slowing or changing the rhythm of the friction, trying to take some deep and slow breaths, and try tensing his pelvic floor muscles as if he's trying to stop the flow of urine. Once his arousal has reduced somewhat (e.g. to about 4/10), he can resume stimulation and repeat this process several times before allowing ejaculation to take place.

As his wife you could be a great help by coaching him through this, asking where he is on the scale, encourage him to use the strategies suggested. Let him masturbate / stimulate himself to begin with, but after he has some success, perhaps you could stimulate him and you must slow down as and when he says to do so. When he's gained confidence like this, you could move onto trying this intravaginally. This is likely to be much more difficult for him because of the sensations (warmth, moist) of the vagina so he should maybe slow his arousal down earlier than 6/10 to begin with. The best position for him to learn this would be with you on top so that he can focus all of his attention on his sensations and you move as he directs.

It's really important that these are 'exercises' though, and not 'sexual acts' as normal, otherwise he will feel more pressure to perform and you will be frustrated - neither of these will help his learning.

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/04/10

Men have to learn to control ejaculation if they are to attempt to 'pleasure' their partner through penetrative intercourse, as the male response is normally much quicker than is the case for females. The best way to learn this would be through masturbation where he learns to identify his physical signs (e.g. heightening sensation, a sensation in his testicles, heart rate) that he needs to ease off before ejaculation is inevitable (i.e. when the 'twitching' begins, it's probably too late). One way to help with this would be to try scoring his arousal on a scale of 0-10, with 8 being the point at which there's no turning back. He must aim to practice his slowing techniques when he reaches about 6/10. Slowing techniques could be slowing or changing the rhythm of the friction, trying to take some deep and slow breaths, and try tensing his pelvic floor muscles as if he's trying to stop the flow of urine. Once his arousal has reduced somewhat (e.g. to about 4/10), he can resume stimulation and repeat this process several times before allowing ejaculation to take place.

As his wife you could be a great help by coaching him through this, asking where he is on the scale, encourage him to use the strategies suggested. Let him masturbate / stimulate himself to begin with, but after he has some success, perhaps you could stimulate him and you must slow down as and when he says to do so. When he's gained confidence like this, you could move onto trying this intravaginally. This is likely to be much more difficult for him because of the sensations (warmth, moist) of the vagina so he should maybe slow his arousal down earlier than 6/10 to begin with. The best position for him to learn this would be with you on top so that he can focus all of his attention on his sensations and you move as he directs.

It's really important that these are 'exercises' though, and not 'sexual acts' as normal, otherwise he will feel more pressure to perform and you will be frustrated - neither of these will help his learning.

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: INFORMER | 2011/04/07

OLD CHINESE SEX REMEDY : 9 SHALLOW &  1 DEEP. LAST LONGER NATURALLY. DONT DO POSITIONS THAT ENCOURAGE DEEP THRUSTS. ALSO GO SLOW...THE GUY IS LEARNING TO RIDE THE BICYCLE ONCE MORE...HE''S GONNA FALL BEFORE HE BECOMES A BMX CHAMP!!!

Reply to INFORMER
Posted by: patrick | 2011/04/07

It will get better the more often you do it.

What time do you consider to be pre-mature?

Reply to patrick
Posted by: jack | 2011/04/07

As Horny Guy said, Stud 100. Go for a second round, he might last longer. Then there is kegel excersise for men(google) and read it, he must prctice this everydag, the muscle that he use to stop the flow when he have a pee, that same action must he try when you''s have sex.

Reply to jack
Posted by: Horny Guy | 2011/04/07

Try Stud100

Reply to Horny Guy

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