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Question
Posted by: jenny | 2011/09/05

Paternity

I know that somebody has lied to my friend about paternity. He is paying for and being a father to a child that isnt his biologically. My friend and this woman are divorced and the child sees his ''dad'' every 2 weekend as per the divorce order. The mother lied about the boys conception. There was always doubt in my friends mind as the conception dates didnt add up as well as the woman was sleeping with another man at the same time but the boy is now 10 years old and its undeniable who the father really is as the child looks like the man she was sleeping with at the same time as my friend .... Do I say something or let it rest. My friend hasnt seen the other man before but I know him through work.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

basically, this is a legal question, and your friend needs a good lawyer. If he has reason to doubt whether the child is his, he could probably get a court to order proper blood / DNA testing to be done, to settle this question.
But from what yopu say, it sounds as though this issue really still bothers you, but not your friend. Have you even chatted to him about how he feels about this, and whether he has any doubts himself ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Claire | 2011/09/05

I agree with Cyber Shrink. I would question your friends as to whether he has doubts that the boy is not his etc and take it from there. If it doesn''t concern him then I would leave it. The sad thing is that the truth always comes out at some stage.

Reply to Claire
Posted by: Maria | 2011/09/05

Jenny is there a strong bond between your friend and his non-biological son? Are they a father and son in all ways other than biological? If the answer is yes then do you think your friend will disown the boy if he finds out he isn''t the biological father? Or will he choose to be the dad because that is who he has been for the past 10 years? I don''t see it being in the child''s best interests to find out at this point in time that his life has been built on a lie about his parentage. Poor kid.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/05

basically, this is a legal question, and your friend needs a good lawyer. If he has reason to doubt whether the child is his, he could probably get a court to order proper blood / DNA testing to be done, to settle this question.
But from what yopu say, it sounds as though this issue really still bothers you, but not your friend. Have you even chatted to him about how he feels about this, and whether he has any doubts himself ?

Reply to cybershrink

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