Our expert says:
OK, though none of us can go back and re-do mistakes we made in the past, we can at least learn from our mistakes, avoid them in the future, and if reasonable, make good on some of the damage we did. If your partner keeps on raising the past in a hurtful way ( and consider couples counselling ) tell him calmly that it is highly hurtful when he does so, especially as you both know the past can't be re-written - but add that you would appreciate him helping you to avoid ever repeating those mistakes by pleasantly warning you if it ever seems as though you may be heading again in that direction.
You can't easily move forward if he keeps on dragging you backwards. And when he comes up with a remark about what you did in the past ( and maybe if he keeps on doing this he's really not worth staying with ) just nip it in the bud, saying "Yes I did, and apologised long ago, but I'm not doing that now".
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