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Question
Posted by: Lolo | 2008/07/28

past

hi

is it necessary to discuss pasts when in new relationship, i feel i should leave pasts in the past and live new life with my new boyfriend but it seem he want to know more about my abusive relationship that i left, so far we' ve been together for 5 moths but known each other before for 2 yrs.

should i tell or not. i don' t feel comfortable to talk about it, because i was hurt so much, i was abused by my partner emotionally, sextually, financially and physically. i just want to forget and move on.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some people believe in leaving people's pasts in the past, some can't do so ; so much depends on how you BOTH feel about that. In the sort of situation you describe, it's fair that you'd let him know you WERE in an abusive relationship previously, and perhaps mention how this has left you as regards your expectations fr4om him ; but it's not really fair for him to want the gory details. And tell him, calmly and pleasantly exactly as you said here, that you feel uncomfortable talking about it because of how badly you were hurt, and how you'd like him to help you move on, by not delving into it

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bob' s girlfriend | 2008/07/28

MORNING!

I think you need to tell him this. That it hurts you and that you DO NOT want to talk about it - maybe in time but not now. Also say that if he keeps on pushing you for details it will cause you to withdraw from him and does he really want that?

Reply to Bob&#39 s girlfriend

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