Our expert says:
Some people believe in leaving people's pasts in the past, some can't do so ; so much depends on how you BOTH feel about that. In the sort of situation you describe, it's fair that you'd let him know you WERE in an abusive relationship previously, and perhaps mention how this has left you as regards your expectations fr4om him ; but it's not really fair for him to want the gory details. And tell him, calmly and pleasantly exactly as you said here, that you feel uncomfortable talking about it because of how badly you were hurt, and how you'd like him to help you move on, by not delving into it
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