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Question
Posted by: Joe | 2011/04/20

Partner''s affair has made me mad!!

Last year, my then partner had an affair. we were not married at the time, but had been together for 11 years and have two kids.

I found 3 weeks into his relationship, first he denied it saying it was his friends girlfriend. But I played detective and found out that he was lying.

he promised to stop, but never did. A month later I decided to phone the girl. She then ended it with him and he said it was because we were not married that he had the affair. So we agreed to work on our relationship and got married.

I now find myself feeling very depressed about all that has happened and I grown a complex about myself. I am still having questions in my mind, and when I ask him, it ends up in a fight.

How can I get over what has happened, I feel lilke I am falling apart.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

11 years is a long time, and time enough to expect your partner to be as faithful as in a marriage. So he cheated on you and lied to you. Him not havin maried you isn't the faintest excuse for him having an affair.
Why not see a marriage counsellor together, as it sounds as though there's lots needing to be sorted out properly ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011/04/21

You can never " get over it"  if you want to be with him you need to learn to " live with it" . That is reality.....unfortunately

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Anne | 2011/04/20

My word, no offence, but how do you fall for a man telling you he had an affair because you arent married. What a load of utter rubbish. He promised to stop, but never did. What does that tell you about him? He does not respect you or your family and you cannot trust him. He is going to do it again. He is going to have to talk to you to set your mind at ease, and fighting with you is not the way to go about it. I am sorry for the kids, but you are better off without this cheating, lying son of a no good nevermind

Reply to Anne
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/20

11 years is a long time, and time enough to expect your partner to be as faithful as in a marriage. So he cheated on you and lied to you. Him not havin maried you isn't the faintest excuse for him having an affair.
Why not see a marriage counsellor together, as it sounds as though there's lots needing to be sorted out properly ?

Reply to cybershrink

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