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Question
Posted by: Tessa | 2010/09/19

partner gets bored easily

Dear cyberShrink

I have a wonderful fiance, we have a 3 week old baby that we both adore dearly. We got engaged after I found out we were pregnant). He is a loving and honest man, but tonight he told he is feeling a bit stressed as he is " used to bungee jumping etc" . and now his daughter is a (wonderful) distraction but he is not spending enough time studying for his final BA exams in Nov. He is an active outdoorsy sort, yet also quite homely. He said he was worried i would get bored of him or he''d get bored of me.. i told him i could never get bored of him. My fear is (and has been) he likes excitement and activity..and gets cabin fever if he sits in the house all saturday. I feel a little worried as we have a baby now and feeding and caring for her does require slowing down/routine. Have told him he must get out and go mountain bike riding, etc with his 2 mates. which he does. Yet i still feel he will get restless at times (he has OCD and mild ADHD and takes prozac for OCD). We love each other dearly, but he is 8 years younger than me and i fear he will get bored of domestic life in a few years. help!?
thanx tessa

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Science suggests he plaued a crucial part in creating the pregnancy, and if he is intelligent enough to attempt a BA, he knows that very well. It's childish for a grown man to see bungee jumping and mountain bike riding as having ANY sort of precednece over caring for the child he helped to create. Maybe he should discuss these issues, of responsibilities, etc., with his shrink who should be supervising his OCD treatment, which should consist of more than just the presctiption of a drug.
It is his task NOT to "get bored" and ignore his responsibilities, and not your fault orr that of the child if he prefers to evade this

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2010/09/20

He chose to make a baby, now he must face up to his responsibilities. Communication and compromise is the key. This is a busy time of year for people who are studying, but he also needs to understand that he has a role to fullfill as a father. When baby is a bit older you should each have a couple of hours over a weekend to do your own thing while the other partner cares for your daughter.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/20

Science suggests he plaued a crucial part in creating the pregnancy, and if he is intelligent enough to attempt a BA, he knows that very well. It's childish for a grown man to see bungee jumping and mountain bike riding as having ANY sort of precednece over caring for the child he helped to create. Maybe he should discuss these issues, of responsibilities, etc., with his shrink who should be supervising his OCD treatment, which should consist of more than just the presctiption of a drug.
It is his task NOT to "get bored" and ignore his responsibilities, and not your fault orr that of the child if he prefers to evade this

Reply to cybershrink

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