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Question
Posted by: Hopeless | 2008/08/22

Parents-in-law

Hi,

I have been dating my boyfriend for just over 4years. For the past 4years his mother has been a constant pain in the " you-know-what" . She the kind of woman that messed everything up but uses every opportunity to tell everyone how great mother she was and is.

Like foe example, she persuaded my boyfriend to purchase, on his name, a R 15 000 plasma TV without discussing it with me. Now she is telling everyone that she is doing it for him to help with his financial status (by the way, his financial status is very good).

My boyfriend is very naive and believes that he has to do anything for his parents seeing as they parented him for his whole life and now it his turn to help them to show appreciation.

We are planning to get married but every now and then she either talks behind my back or gets drunk and curses me and my boyfriend also defends them.

Can you help me? Any questions are welcome.

Thanks!!

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Our expert says:
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Maybe she hopes that if she can convince others that she was a great mom, she may even convince herself.
I don't understand, however, how buying a R 15,000 TV screen would improve anyone's financial status ! It would always DECREASE their financial status, by R 15,000. He must indeed be highly naive and rather immature.
Before agreeing to marry him, see a relationship counsellor together to see if he can learn to be independent enough to be a husband, rather than just a son with a wife

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Hopeless | 2008/08/27

Let me give you another example.
For the past 4years, his parents have cursed me, talked behind my back and got me really depressed. When I speak to my boyfriend about this he always gives some kind of excuse like they were drunk, they didn' t know what they were saying or my parents love you very much and that I take things to seriously. Or sometimes he will get angry at them and try to sort things out but as soon as his mother starts crying he comes to me and tells me that she really does love me and that they didn' t mean to be like that.

And, every time he gets angry he forgives them just like that because (and what for it), he believes that he needs to forgive them for in case they die and then he has to live with the guilt.

???????

Reply to Hopeless
Posted by: sherry | 2008/08/23

I married a guy just like yours,They never leave home it is always my mother this my mother that.Stop it while it is still early or else you will get married and end up depressed ,unhappy you name it.
Seeing a counsellor is excellent he has to mature and stop been mommys boy.

Good luck it is not a nice thing to go through I am know divorced and never been more happy ,and guess what i am alone for 5 years with my kids what a life

Reply to sherry

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