Our expert says:
Well, for a start you are absolutely right that it is important for a couple to share a common and united policy for child-rearing and especially for discipline. Inconsistency bwteen the parents, and even more ( as you seem to be describing ) within one parent, is needlessly confusing.
Its just not fair to the child to make it up as you go along, or switch to whatever approach is flavour of the week. I wonder what sort of discipline and chil-rearing was used when he was young ?
The behaviours you describe sound like an insecure and uncertain little man trying to be authoritarian without knowing how to do it.
I like Purple's idea of getting some good paenting books, and after reading them yourself, ask him to read them, as you find them very helpful, and would value his opinion about how to put these methods into practice.
Sadly, so much more than he realises, he illustrates how useless and counter-productive "a good hiding" is for children. Sounds like his main aim is to impress his parents. Are they in any way possibly allies ? Would they be open to reading a good parenting book with you, understandoing your concerns, and helping to persuade him to try these methods ?
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