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Posted by: Zeee | 2012/05/17

Parenting (655.656)

I have decided to start my MISSION as follows:

I''ve drawn up a list of usual issues with the kids in our household with 2 extra columns, I will ask my Husband to comment on each issue and tell me how he feels about it and what he feels is the appropriate discipline for each situation. Afterwards I will do the same and i''m hoping that he will be open to this an actually sit and discuss this with me once both of us has read throught each others comments and recommendation. Hopefully we can come to some sort of agreement, my only concern is that I usually take things like this serious BUT he might not impliment the discipline as discussed due to a lack of interest overall....I don''t know, will have to see!

Wish me luck, maybe I should report back in a month!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like an excellent initiative on your part - let us know how it works out ! Remind him that you can both surely agree that a random or haphazard response can't achieve anything, so its worth working out what you each think and suggest. Where you're in agreement, that policy is adopted. Where you're in disagreement, maybe suggest a scientific trial - one mont ( not too short a time ) his way, then one month yours, and having agreed how to evaluate the results, see what works best.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/19

Sounds like an excellent initiative on your part - let us know how it works out ! Remind him that you can both surely agree that a random or haphazard response can't achieve anything, so its worth working out what you each think and suggest. Where you're in agreement, that policy is adopted. Where you're in disagreement, maybe suggest a scientific trial - one mont ( not too short a time ) his way, then one month yours, and having agreed how to evaluate the results, see what works best.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2012/05/17

Good luck! Can I make another suggestion? Focusing on fixing behaviour problems can quickly get you into the mindset of seeing your kids as problems. Building a positive relationship with your kids, especially the older one, will reap rewards in better behaviour and less aggressive disciplining. So instead of just talking about how you are going to handle issues, also look at what your kids need from you and how you are going to fulfill those needs. Love, attention, boundaries, consistent and loving enforcement of the boundaries. If your husband isn''t already doing it he can start reading stories, wrestling with the kids, playing ball, playing chase games etc. They may be crying out for dad''s positive attention.

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