Posted by: Ryan | 2010-12-13

Painful anal sex

Hi there

I am a bottom and my partner is a top - yes, we are gay. We have been together for just over a year, but I still am not comfortable having sex due to the size of his penis. I have been with numerous guys before, without much problem, some of whom have been quite well-endowed. However, my partner''''s penis is not only long (probably 9 inches) but also frighteningly sizeable in the girth area. If I see it coming, I tense up immediately. He has complained that sex has always been difficult for him in previous relationships due to his size, so I try my best to hide the pain, but it is becoming too uncomfortable. I have tried all manner of lubrication, etc., but it doesn''''t get any better.

Are there any other guys in this situation? If you overcame it, what did you do? Note that this is not a psychological issue based on relationship/committment problems, as it was a challenge long before we decided to even have a relationship. Some people might call me lucky to have an extremely well-endowed partner, but it honestly is not all fun and games. I not only want the pain to stop, but want my partner to enjoy himself.

Any suggestions?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

sex will always be
sex is always anxiety producing andyour difficulty is not without foundation . pain is also a great destroyer of pleasurable sex. That you have pain has now created a cycle of pain /anxiety with more spasm of the anal sphincter muscles and therefore more pain on penetration . That your partner is well endowed adds to the difficulty and the pain It is there fore imperative that in order for you to enjoy sex you have to overcome the penetration anxiety /use more lubrication /become more relaxed before sex and to possibly stop penetration till you have counselling and are much more comfortable as you will soon become anxious even with a much smaller penis

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: enzo | 2010-12-21

hey women you post on every forum and as usual you are winey complaining bitch....
you clearly dont have any happiness in your life so you resent the people who do.
find a huge bolder tie one end of the string to it and the other to your legs and push it over a cliff.....
the world and this forum would be a better place without you...

Reply to enzo
Posted by: Ryan | 2010-12-20

Thanks all - I got very little feedback in the gay column and thought that this column would be more appropriate since it deals with " physical"  issues. Thanks for the advice.

Reply to Ryan
Posted by: Woman | 2010-12-17

kersie, you are so funny, please carry on, i saw your posts to biscuit up there, if anyone sounds like HO, it''s you. I suppose " kers"  alludes to the girth of yours? And off course mentally, you also sound, to put it delicately, not the brightest candle..

Shame, poor boy. And yes, you are certainly a boy.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: KERS | 2010-12-17


Reply to KERS
Posted by: anon | 2010-12-15

dear just me i take back everyting i said about you.........i was wrong need a 9inch cok in your mouth and up your arse. you talk toooo much you homo bitch.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Just Me | 2010-12-15

Anon...stop wasting your breath. Your own ego was shoved up your arse years ago. Small dick syndrom.... low self esteem.... loud mouth ''cause you need to cover for your own dismal sex life ....and lastly the fact that you''re a complete arsehole. Guess why this country still has complete divide and obviously little chance of change till at least YOUR generation has passed. Don''t bother asking what this has to do with the has everything. Learn to keep your fat mouth shout when you have nothing decent to say. Love to meet you so we can all comment on your -|- ed up looks and quirks. Have a good day further!

Reply to Just Me
Posted by: anon | 2010-12-14


Reply to anon
Posted by: Just Me | 2010-12-14

I kinda thought Ryan was putting his balls on the line by posting such a question on this forum. At least this Guy has way more guts than most of the fellows here and obviously couldn''t give a rats-|-what you all think either. The forum rules are clear...if you can''t stand the heat... -|- off!
For the ladies - you''re tops man. Great advice, great attitude.

Reply to Just Me
Posted by: Sam | 2010-12-14

my partner and I use a little anaesthetic cream applied round the outside to make the nerves a little less sensitive. Be careful not to get any on your c0cks tho''
Have had no probs.

Reply to Sam
Posted by: Anon | 2010-12-14

It''s amazing that he did not accept the advice when he posted the same question on the gay forum

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Woman | 2010-12-14

Agreed Women, if this was a female asking the question the guys would be all over this but because the guy is gay, prejudice comes out.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Woman | 2010-12-14

Amazing the prejudice I see here. If you had been a woman, these gentlemen would be falling over themselves giving you advice.

SO I will. Deal with a well-endowed man is different to dealing with average men. Look into other positions where you can make the choice how deep you can take it. Use lots and lots of lube, and maybe have longer foreplay with oral sex so the act itself doesn''t take too long.

Hope this helps. Homophobia is a sign of utter stupidity, gentlemen. (and ladies, if you posted). Get with the times. You cannot ever say that you are an enlightened soul if you base your opinion of someone on their sexual preference.

Reply to Woman

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