Posted by: KJF | 2013-01-16

Pained and suffering

Good Day, I find myself in a very sad position, My daughter was 15 years old when she fell pregnant and was in grade 10. I had her finnish school and was in GR12 last year and on the 24th of November she was tragically killed in a car accident at the age of 18. She left behind her son of 22months old. My daughter was a very good mother to her son despite all the challenges of going back to school and finishing her matric. The biological father and his parents was so mean heartless cunning cruel callous etc and came with the police to my home to fetch the child. They say they have papers which i never saw and was never served any from any court. My daughter and her boyfriend was no longer together and he showed no time for the child while she was still alive. they were not married and she and her son lived with me. he did pay maintenance for the child. I havent seen my grandson for 3 weeks now. I dont contact them either becuase they are the meanest people i have ever came accross and have no respect for the mourning of our daughter and sister and grand daughter that our family suffers. The pain and suffering i edured since the 15th December 2012 is un believable my daughter and my Grandson shared and slept in the same room, I have lost a daughter and my grandson too. Please advice. Thanks

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Posted by: Anon | 2013-01-17

Dear KJF,

Sorry to hear about your troubles, and my condolences to you and your family for your losses.

The father of the child does have certain rights, and in this instance he is able to claim the residency of the child.

As the grandparent, you also have rights in respect of the child, and can demand to see the child from time to time, i.e. to bond with the grandchild.

If you exercise this right, there is nothing the father can do to prevent it especially if it is enforced by the courts. By doing this, you can monitor the progress and health of the child and if there is a hint of neglect, then you can use this evidence to apply for residency.

Remember that the interests are the best interests of the child, and not your own or that of the father. If the father is able to create a loving and healthy environment for the child, and the child flourishes, then that is in the best interest of the child.

If for some reason there is neglect, to the extent that the child is suffering, and if you can provide a better environment, then it would be better for the child to be with you. Remember in this instance, you need to have hard proof.

I wish you the best and the strength to overcome your grief.

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