advertisement
Question
Posted by: Gillian | 2010/08/02

Overwhelmed by my toddler

Dear Doc, I am 35 years old and have 2 kids. Two girls, one aged 10 and another aged 2. For the past 6 months now I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed by my 2-year old. I feel that my life has no order and everything is a constant rush. I feel run down and many times, I feel I just want to run away from everything. My family senses this and as I withdraw from them, they try and get closer and demand more attention. My eldest, at times, is so rude and my youngest screams and shouts if she does not get her own way. My husband helps a lot but it feels as if I am just not coping emotionally and physically. I tend to resent my 2-year old because if she was not there, my life would be peaceful as it used to be. I am sorry, this is AWFUL to say and I truly LOVE my kids!! Our house is sometimes really untidy which irritates my husband and this makes me feel even more incompetent. Please could you advise me what to do??

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The average 2 year-old would probably make a Mother Theresa swear - they are designed to be exhausting. That's part of their developmental tasks, and yes, hard to handle. Don't beat yourself up for not finding it easy to handle. DO have a checkup with your GP about the possibility of a depression and/or anxiety disorder ading to your difficulties, as those can respond really well to treatment and counselling.
And let go of some of the urge to control the uncontrollable. 2 year-olds are tireless, compared to any other normal mortal, and we CANNOT keep up with them. And while i's pleasant to have a tidy house, this isn't pracical with a rampaging 2-year-old. Without giving up your general standards, learn to tolerate their disorder ( there's a useful difference between disorder and dirt ) until they grow out of this phase.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Mommytoo | 2010/08/02

i understand how you feel. I had to take my 18 months old to nursery because my mom couldn''t keep up with him - it''s natural. I got a wake up call when my baby was short of (phosphate) i think, and he couldn''t move his head - it was just in one position, tests had to be made and they suspected Miningitis - thank God it wasn''t! when we were at the dr''s rooms and other children were playing and making a mess - i wished it was my own, fortunately he is Fine now. Enjoy your baby and don''t take everything too seriously!

Reply to Mommytoo
Posted by: Ruby | 2010/08/02

Have you tried explaining this to your hubby? Perhaps he doesn''t understand what it''s like for you. What if you leave him to deal with the 2 year old for a day or so - maybe then he''d appreciate how tough it is. I don''t mean to be rude about your hubby, just that maybe if he gets it, he could help you out a bit so you could go off for a couple of hours and rest.
Do you have friends or family that might be able to help you get a break from the kids? Everyone needs some time out, even if it''s just an hour to lie on the bed &  listen to music, get a massage, read a book - whatever.
Maybe you also need a boost of vitamins or something?
I agree - you should also see your dr to make sure you aren''t also suffering from depression....
Good luck!

Reply to Ruby
Posted by: Nia | 2010/08/02

My friend lost a 2 year old toddler a few years ago. She always says that she misses the untidy house, the sticky hand marks on the walls, the sounds of his voice in the house and his tantrums. She will do anything to get him back and she will never mind an untidy room again.

I am a perfectionist. Before my 18month old was born my house was perfect and my life ordered. Now, whenever I walk in on the mess he made, instead of being mad about the house I say thank you that I have this great little chap and that he is healty and able to make a mess. He will grow up and leave the house and then I will have a neat and tidy house but miss him.

Enjoy your kids while you have them. Life is short and they are much more precious than a neat house.

Reply to Nia
Posted by: Maria | 2010/08/02

Don''t be so hard on yourself. Raising two kids are hectic, and the terrible two''s are hard on everybody. It sounds as if you are very stressed and perhaps even depressed. I suggest you go to your gp for a full health checkup and discuss how you feel. Also post on the parenting forum - lots of moms there who will be able to reassure you that an untidy house and feeling frustrated by a 2 year old is entirely normal.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/02

The average 2 year-old would probably make a Mother Theresa swear - they are designed to be exhausting. That's part of their developmental tasks, and yes, hard to handle. Don't beat yourself up for not finding it easy to handle. DO have a checkup with your GP about the possibility of a depression and/or anxiety disorder ading to your difficulties, as those can respond really well to treatment and counselling.
And let go of some of the urge to control the uncontrollable. 2 year-olds are tireless, compared to any other normal mortal, and we CANNOT keep up with them. And while i's pleasant to have a tidy house, this isn't pracical with a rampaging 2-year-old. Without giving up your general standards, learn to tolerate their disorder ( there's a useful difference between disorder and dirt ) until they grow out of this phase.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement