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Question
Posted by: YOLLS | 2011/06/08

Overweight Teenager

My daughter is 18 yrs old and weighs almost 100kg. She is quite tall though and " big boned" . The problem is she seems to be obsessed with food. I cannot get her to stop eating. She exercises very little also, although I''m trying to get her to the gym as much as possible. I''ve thought a lot about hypnosis, what can you tell me about that? I am desperate to help her lose weight.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageEating Disorders Expert

Hello YOLLS,
The responses that you have already received from Kasandra provide some good advice. Thanks Kasandra. It is extremely important that you look to access that part of your daughter that wants to make changes for herself. Yes, you are right not ignoring the problem that she might be slowly developing a serious health risk, but you cannot provide all of the motivation and tr drag her into activity. I suggest that you sit down with your daughter and get to know what she is possibly struggling with in her life right now. Her relationship with food and inactivity is likely symptomatic of a mood state or a reflection of her poor self-esteem. As Kasandra was advising, do not focus exclusively on what she needs to change, as this might leave her feeling even more inadequate than she already feels. If you are going to broach the topic of eating habits, try to encourage a healthy and moderate way of eating and try to not focus on weight loss directly. That will likely happen if she eats healthily. If she wants to follow a dietary guideline, consider a registered dietician so that she has a meal plan that is realistic and moderate. As far as physical activity is concerned, do try and seek what your daughter might enjoy. Remember, vert few people actually enjoy the gym. I hope this helps.
Regards,
Graham

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Eating Disorders and Obesity Expert | 2011/06/14

Hello YOLLS,
The responses that you have already received from Kasandra provide some good advice. Thanks Kasandra. It is extremely important that you look to access that part of your daughter that wants to make changes for herself. Yes, you are right not ignoring the problem that she might be slowly developing a serious health risk, but you cannot provide all of the motivation and tr drag her into activity. I suggest that you sit down with your daughter and get to know what she is possibly struggling with in her life right now. Her relationship with food and inactivity is likely symptomatic of a mood state or a reflection of her poor self-esteem. As Kasandra was advising, do not focus exclusively on what she needs to change, as this might leave her feeling even more inadequate than she already feels. If you are going to broach the topic of eating habits, try to encourage a healthy and moderate way of eating and try to not focus on weight loss directly. That will likely happen if she eats healthily. If she wants to follow a dietary guideline, consider a registered dietician so that she has a meal plan that is realistic and moderate. As far as physical activity is concerned, do try and seek what your daughter might enjoy. Remember, vert few people actually enjoy the gym. I hope this helps.
Regards,
Graham

Reply to Eating Disorders and Obesity Expert
Posted by: Kasandra | 2011/06/09

I would also suggest you try to find something she likes. Does she have an Ipod? going for a walk with her favourite music on next to you as support could maybe be an option.

dont try to do too much too soon start out slow and then even if its just 15 minutes a day. also i am still worried about her eating plan as a simple change in certain foods can give her lasting energy etc. Maybe she is over-eating cause she tries to eat little when around you?

The right eating plan could be suitable not focusing on cutting out any foods but focusing what types of these foods are better and more filling.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Reply to Kasandra
Posted by: YOLLS | 2011/06/09

Hi Kasandra, thank you, that''s very valuable advise. I have tried to be kind about it before because I don''t want it to be an " issue"  in her life but I got kind of tired of attitude cos the gentle approach wasn''t working. I''ve taken her cycling before but she got irritated cos she couldn''t keep up. She basically hates exercising but I will try the walk thing. Thanks Kasandra.

Reply to YOLLS
Posted by: Kasandra | 2011/06/08

YOLLS I know you want to help your daughter BUT first and most you must make her feel that who she is now is good enough, dont focus on the weight or the exercise first focus on why she is eating so much cause she is eating for a reason.

Are you a very healthy person who focus a lot on keeping yourself healthy and your weight stable?

Trying to pin point why she over-eats is the first step would be great if you can give us an idea what she eats during the day.

Maybe try to go for a walk with her rather then force her to go to gym.

As you push she might have formed a negative idea already in her head that she will not be good enough if she is " big"  or dont exercise etc and would probably fall into a depression and not want to do those things even more.

Self Esteem is such a fragile thing.

and you just want to help but becareful in your approach as you can do more damage in good by focusing on the losing weight and exercise part and not what the " emotions"  are behind it all.

Reply to Kasandra

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