Posted by: Lizel | 2011-02-18


Can you please tell me what is the perspective of society towards a overweight and obese person?

I'am struggeling since childhood with obesity and weight problems and it seems that obesity isn't accepted by society. I went for a interview, (I've got a masters degree in music) and was turned down, not because of my qualifications, but because of the way I look.

Obesity is a big issue in my life , a friend of mine told me the other day I'am so fat he can hardly see me through all that fat, and that complicate the situation even more, because I am oversensitive and ashamed of the way I look.

I try to dress well, and make myself presentable but!!

I'am totally addicted to food, actually it seems a paradox, but food is my best friend and my worst enemy. Thought and behaviour patterns become a repetive cycle with very negative thoughts. It's extremely difficult to break because it becomes a habitual way of responding to life.

Since childhood I was on numerous diets, with the same devestating results! I've come to the conclusion, that you will never stabilise your weight unless you change your thought and behaviour patterns. I still haven't cracked it.

Can you please advice me how to handle this heavy problem in my life. How can I convince society that I'm normal, not dumb, lazy and unacceptable?
"Imprisoned in every fat women a thin one is wildly signaling to be let out"  Cyril Connolly.

Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageEating Disorders Expert

Hi Lizel,
I could probably discuss at length the issues relating to our society's perspective and prejudice about overweight and obese individuals. There is no doubt that being overweight or obese is one of many prejudices in our society and you are clearly feeling the victimization of that. What's more, you are not going to single-handedly end society's unfair attitudes. However, what you are capable of doing is addressing your attitudes and relationship with yourself. Look at how you feel about yourself, and whether you feel that you are treating yourself as kindly and in an as nurturing way as is possible. You have been on numerous diets throughout your life. This has probably not been a good idea and probably done you more physical and emotional harm than good. From now, however, I suggest you look at trying to make your relationship with yourself, especially through food, become a more nurturing and respectful one, and consider seeking a way of relating to food in a healthy and moderated way. Have you access to a dietician and would it be possible for you to see a therapist to discuss the way in which your relationship with yourself is being destructively played out through food? Your therapy will likely help you to see that your relationship with food is less about food than it is about unresolved issues within yourself. It’s similar to an alcoholic who drinks away problems not because he or she loves the taste of alcohol, but because the numbing effect of alcohol provides temporary relief from the emotional hardship they are facing. Does this make sense to you?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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