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Question
Posted by: Silivia | 2012/08/24

oversensitive about end of online friendship

I am wondering if social media is a negative thing as I found myself becoming rather offended recently when someone I know reasonably well deleted me as a friend online for no reason that I can think of. I know it sounds silly to be offended by an online friend but I couldn''t understand why the person did this as they had up till then been friendly and sent me messages and commented on some of my posts. I have decided that the best thing is for me to do now is try avoid using social media as I don''t like feeling so hurt like this when someone deletes me as an online friend without a reason or thought as to how it will make me feel. Please could you give me some advice on how to not feel hurt and rejected by this person and move on as its bothering me still for some reason. I am surprised that the end of a virtual friendship can feel like this but it does. I do have good friends in real life so thats not an issue, probably better to stick to them as they can''t just shun you without a reason.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Social media are very often a negative thing, and assuming that they aren't or can't be, is a dangerous delusion, even if widespread.
Having someone add you as a "friend" on facebook is almost always utterly meaningless, so being unfriended has no more meaning either.
Please, folks, lets get real Online "friends" aren't any sort of genuine friend : If you were taken sick in the night, how many of them would come to help you ? If not, they're not a friend.
Virtual friends aren't necessarily virtuous friends.
Stick to real friends you can meet and touch.
The "friendship" was actually not personal, and the deletion was also cold-blooded and impersonal.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/25

Social media are very often a negative thing, and assuming that they aren't or can't be, is a dangerous delusion, even if widespread.
Having someone add you as a "friend" on facebook is almost always utterly meaningless, so being unfriended has no more meaning either.
Please, folks, lets get real Online "friends" aren't any sort of genuine friend : If you were taken sick in the night, how many of them would come to help you ? If not, they're not a friend.
Virtual friends aren't necessarily virtuous friends.
Stick to real friends you can meet and touch.
The "friendship" was actually not personal, and the deletion was also cold-blooded and impersonal.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Nini | 2012/08/24


If you know that you havent had any issues with this person then you shouldn''t worry. I know that it is standard practice for a lot of people to have a " detox"  on Facebook every now and then where they restructure their friends list. So they will remove people they havent had one on one contact with for say 3 or 6 months. And they do this regularly. You never know, maybe this person is going through something in their lives and they''ve decided to cut down.

Really, dont take it personally.

Reply to Nini

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