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Question
Posted by: Rebecca | 2010/07/27

Overreact?

I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago, the reason being that he said wasa that he could not give me what I deserve, I can do better blah blah...We decided to remain friends and he agreed that I can leave my stuff at his house until month end when I move to a bigger place and I can take them. I still have the key. So last night after work I go there to fetch a pair of shoes. I find him having cosy dinner and wine with some girl. We argued and the girl said they have been seeing each other for over a month so clearly he lied to me. Then he sends me a message saying he does not understand why I overreacted. Did I overreact? I am so angry

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hmm, maybe he was right, or just trying to make a graceful excuse once he'd found someone else he preferred. Maybe he was convinced that he COULD give HER everything she deserved ( apparently that's not very much ) and that she could do no better than him. Maybe he was right both times ?
One could say that if the pair of you had indeed broken up, you didn't have a good basis for being furious that he was NOW with someone else - but I suppose it was finding out that he'd lied and had already been involved with someone else before the breakup, that understandably riled you.
Anyhow, you CAN do better than him, and should move on, proudly

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Our users say:
Posted by: bi | 2010/07/27

That must''ve hurt so much! People can be so callous with another one''s heart. You have only one option, you cannot force anyone to love you so move on. Only then will you have the opportunity to find someone who deserves you.
I''m actually glad this happened because now you can say goodbye to the trash and get your life sorted.

Reply to bi
Posted by: MAN | 2010/07/27

Just cut your losses and move on. He is not worth the effort or worry. Forget about the friendship too. Life is too short for wasting time on people like this.

Reply to MAN
Posted by: Ruby | 2010/07/27

Sounds like he gave you the line about you not deserving him in the hopes that you would do the breaking up for him. People do sometimes give that line because they''re too cowardly to just say: they aren''t in love with you any longer (sadly it does happen so you shouldn''t think of it as yor fault). Also, maybe he was feeling guilty about 2 timing you. Either way, you''re much better off without him. I don''t thinkyou over reacted at all - most people would have been furious to discover someone lied to them, cheated on them and then fed them a line about how you''re too good for them. Mind you, sound slike you really ARE too good for him.

Reply to Ruby
Posted by: Maria | 2010/07/27

Well if he is cheating on you then you clearly can do better. He was dishonest, and you''re better off without him.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/27

Hmm, maybe he was right, or just trying to make a graceful excuse once he'd found someone else he preferred. Maybe he was convinced that he COULD give HER everything she deserved ( apparently that's not very much ) and that she could do no better than him. Maybe he was right both times ?
One could say that if the pair of you had indeed broken up, you didn't have a good basis for being furious that he was NOW with someone else - but I suppose it was finding out that he'd lied and had already been involved with someone else before the breakup, that understandably riled you.
Anyhow, you CAN do better than him, and should move on, proudly

Reply to cybershrink

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