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Question
Posted by: Stressed mom | 2010/05/01

Overprotective?

I''m the mom of a lovely 4 year old little boy. Hubby and I had to go intensive fertility treatment to have him and battled for 5 years to fall pregnant.
The thing is, I think I might be overprotective: I only let him sleep over at his grandparents for 1 night. And then I''m there to pick him up the early next day. He had the opportunity to go away with them for a week, but I couln''t. It just seems unbearable! I dislike him going to creche and think of excuses to keep him home. I want to know how they treat him and I''m not in control of the situation.
How do I get myself to let go a bit? Am i smothering him? It seems to be getting harder as he gets older! Help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It's worth discussing this ( and maybe our parenting forum in H24 could help, too ) with other mums, your own family and friends, and even a child shrink or paediatric nurse, to help get this into proportion. Of course all kids are invaluable and need protection - but we also need to be aware, as you apparently are, that being over-protective may actually not be entirely helpful. IF he is safe with his grandparents ( and you survived their care when you were young ! ) for a night, he's safe with them for longer.
One needs to come to terms with the fact that one can never, in life, control everything that might happen. And the greatest safeguard a growing child can have, is assistance from a parent to develop safe independence, an ability to recognize when he is safe in his own care, and when he needs to look for help or support from parents.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/01

It's worth discussing this ( and maybe our parenting forum in H24 could help, too ) with other mums, your own family and friends, and even a child shrink or paediatric nurse, to help get this into proportion. Of course all kids are invaluable and need protection - but we also need to be aware, as you apparently are, that being over-protective may actually not be entirely helpful. IF he is safe with his grandparents ( and you survived their care when you were young ! ) for a night, he's safe with them for longer.
One needs to come to terms with the fact that one can never, in life, control everything that might happen. And the greatest safeguard a growing child can have, is assistance from a parent to develop safe independence, an ability to recognize when he is safe in his own care, and when he needs to look for help or support from parents.

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