Our expert says:
I wonder whether the problems you experienced in the first marriage may have been in part related to your own extreme neediness ? For a variety of reasons, some of us grow up exceptionall needy, and feel we require large amounts of re-assurance from others that we are loved. If you are already wasting your own work time sending messages to him, and expect him to waste his own work time to respond to them, just to be frequently reminded that someone cares for you, that suggests you have personal problems that need to be dealt with in psychotherapy / counselling. If this is done well, you would be able to feel more secure and confident and enjoy life a good deal more. If these issues are not dealt with, you may find your current relationship and any others in the future, similarly unfulfilling.
lack of frequent re-assurance should not make you feel so desperate.
It's not at all unreasonable for you to want to achieve a situation in life where you are loved. What is unrealistic is to assume that someone who loves you would need to keep telling you so. Your concern isn't about being loved ( someone may adore you and not keep telling you so ) but about being TOLD you are loved.
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