Posted by: Maddy | 2009-01-29

Over the counter meds for PE

Hi there,

I know that there is no quick fix for Premature Ejaculation, but my bf and I are going away for Valentine' s weekend, and we wanted to get some non-prescription pills to have a good LOT of fun. Pls let me know if you know of any products that work well.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I'm afraid I don't know of any over the counter meds for PE. There are 'numbing' preparations, but they can numb you too! I have a few suggestions about things you could try for a 'quick-fix': stimulate him to orgasm first as he is likely to last longer later (this is assuming he is young enough to have a subsequent erection in a relatively short period of time), using a condom will reduce stimulation and possibly enable him to last a little longer, female-superior position also helps him to focus on where his is at in terms of excitement and he may be able to catch it early on and ask you to stop to allow his excitement to die down a bit.

Maybe this is a good time to help him to begin to learn to delay his orgasm? Men have to learn to control ejaculation if they are to attempt to 'pleasure' their partner through penetrative intercourse, as the male response is normally much quicker than is the case for females. The best way to learn this would be through masturbation where he learns to identify his physical signs (e.g. heightening sensation, a sensation in his testicles, heart rate) that he needs to ease off before ejaculation is inevitable (i.e. when the 'twitching' begins, it's probably too late). One way to help with this would be to try scoring his arousal on a scale of 0-10, with 8 being the point at which there's no turning back. He must aim to practice his slowing techniques when he reaches about 6/10. Slowing techniques could be slowing or changing the rhythm of the friction, trying to take some deep and slow breaths, and try tensing his pelvic floor muscles as if he's trying to stop the flow of urine. Once his arousal has reduced somewhat (e.g. to about 4/10), he can resume stimulation and repeat this process several times before allowing ejaculation to take place.

As his girlfriend you could be a great help by coaching him through this, asking where he is on the scale, encourage him to use the strategies suggested. Let him masturbate / stimulate himself to begin with, but after he has some success, perhaps you could stimulate him and you must slow down as and when he says to do so. When he's gained confidence like this, you could move onto trying this intravaginally. This is likely to be much more difficult for him because of the sensations (warmth, moist) of the vagina so he should maybe slow his arousal down earlier than 6/10 to begin with. The best position for him to learn this would be with you on top so that he can focus all of his attention on his sensations and you move as he directs.

It's really important that these are 'exercises' though, and not 'sexual acts' as normal, otherwise he will feel more pressure to perform and you will be frustrated - neither of these will help his learning.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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