Posted by: Long term bf | 2009-09-10

our baby

i had complications during my 5weeks of the baby pased away(don know if that the rite workd to use)
i was so happy after i found out i am was he but later he changed.he wasnt sure anymore if he is happy.
i couldnt talk to him about what the doctor said or how i feel.he didnt care to ask.until the day i lost the baby.i don remember much about what happened during the time i was at the doctor.i only woke up later feeling numb.and i was crying.he was sitting next to me.i knew.i t was over.i was so empty inside.till we got home.we were in ber when i tried talking to him.he was watching tv.i was telling him about what i remember ad wanted to know if he was there does he know what happened.tryin to tell him how i feel.he was so cold.he turned to me and told me he dont want to talk about it.i needed to talk to someone.he is the one i am suposed to confide in.i was so shuttered.i spent2hours in the toiled crying.i came back to bed he was sleeping.he then woke up ad said i can talk if i want to.
i fcan never forget.that was 3 weeks back.he was so cold everyday.i had to ask my friend to talk to her.she had to visit us so we can talk.i ended up calliung my ex.he was there to listern.he is the only friend i ever had.atleast he understood.he didnt judge me.even today my bf never cared to ask how i am doing till the day i comfronted him about his bad always there for him.i expected the same.he said he dont know what to say to me when i am hurting,.all he ever does is cry and cry.always when i am crying he cries.i end up comforting him when i am the one needing comfort.i dont know what to do,this whole thiing affected me badly.and the one person i love is not making it easy for me.he wont talk.last night he asked me to talk to him.i couldnt.,it feels he is doing me a favour coz i said something about it.i feel so hurt and empty,
i find myself praying in the middle of the night just so God can ease the pain.and i am starting to doubt my future with this guy who cant be there for me whebn i needed him the most.
i believe we should be best friends. i just feel tired.emotionally and physically

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

When you left hospital, they should have arranged for you to see a counsellor, to help you deal with your feelings.
It's quite possible that your bf is having difficulty ealing with his own feelings about this sad event, too, but not recopgnizing your own needs. SDometimes when you most need them, people become emotionally unavailable because they can't handle their own feelings and try to ignore them completely.
Try to persuade him to see a relationship or general counsellor with you, to work on the impact this event has had on both of you.
What do other readers suggest ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Star | 2009-09-11

Have you ever concidered that he might feel the same way, but handles it diffrently, not wanting to talk about it now. We are all diffrent and handle things diffrently in life. Take CS advice and go see someone together or on your own. A loss is a loss, no matter how big or small it may seem to other people. You two need to work on this other wise this might drive you appart, I have seen it happen.

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