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Question
Posted by: Nicci | 2010/12/17

OUCH!!!

On Monday I had a fight with my " boyfriend"  of 2 months. He got really, really angry with me and told me that he " cannot handle me anymore" . He said some really nasty things and told me to get out of his life (not in such a nice manner), to forget about him and leave him alone! He started threatening me when I responded to his sms ... I have since not made any effort to contact him. He told me that he has a lot of stress in his life and has crises that he must deal with and that he does not want to put up with me too ... he accuses me of being demanding. He has been divorced for about 10 years already. I don''t know what set him off on his tangent, but why verbally abuse one of the few people that really care about him? He does not have many friends and spends a lot of time on his own .... I apologised for annoying him and he would not accept my apology. Do I just leave him alone and wait for him to contact me again or just forget about him altogether? I really like this man even though he is actually not a very nice person .... likes to swear and threaten when he loses his temper. He also told me that if I do or say anything that he does not like, he will just ignore me for days on end ... if I still contact him during that time, he will continue ignoring me until I have learned my lesson. It seems a bit childish for a 49 year old man to behave this way? Maybe I should be glad that he is no longer part of my life ... his negativity and bad moods seemed to rub off on me. When I contacted him and he was rude to me, it made me really angry .... maybe if a person has that effect on me, he is not the right person for me??? Advice please ...... thanks!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, sometimes your partner is, unknoqn to you, struggling to cope with outside stresses, and can be pushed to flee if you seem unduly demanding or needy - it's hard to tell, as you dont reveal the basis of this argument.
But adults who feel others ( and not themselves ) need to "learn lessons" are often bad news.
Leave him alopne for a while and see if he settles down and returns - then you will have a choice as to whether to resume a relationship with him ( after due consideration ) or not ; if he doesn't return, you have lost less than you think, and need not even make that choice.
He has apparently made the best choice for you - move on

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/18

OK, sometimes your partner is, unknoqn to you, struggling to cope with outside stresses, and can be pushed to flee if you seem unduly demanding or needy - it's hard to tell, as you dont reveal the basis of this argument.
But adults who feel others ( and not themselves ) need to "learn lessons" are often bad news.
Leave him alopne for a while and see if he settles down and returns - then you will have a choice as to whether to resume a relationship with him ( after due consideration ) or not ; if he doesn't return, you have lost less than you think, and need not even make that choice.
He has apparently made the best choice for you - move on

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: whena | 2010/12/17

Run, baby, run

Reply to whena
Posted by: Nicci | 2010/12/17

Thanks guys I appreciate the feedback ... yeah I am going to run like hell and not look back ... u r right OBVIOUS .. i think the chances of finding any happiness with this man is less than zero .... it is always difficult to make a permanent break, but I need to do it ... and Jen ... he is no good, he brought out intense feelings in me I did not think I was capable of feeling .... rage, hatred etc. ewwwwwwww ... thank God it actually happened before he destroyed my self-esteem .... thanks again

Reply to Nicci
Posted by: Nicci | 2010/12/17

Thanks guys I appreciate the feedback ... yeah I am going to run like hell and not look back ... u r right OBVIOUS .. i think the chances of finding any happiness with this man is less than zero .... it is always difficult to make a permanent break, but I need to do it ... and Jen ... he is no good, he brought out intense feelings in me I did not think I was capable of feeling .... rage, hatred etc. ewwwwwwww ... thank God it actually happened before he destroyed my self-esteem .... thanks again

Reply to Nicci
Posted by: Purple | 2010/12/17

Be thankful he has shown this ugly side to his character now so you can get out of there fast.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: jen | 2010/12/17

what do you want with such a person. move on girl....actually shut the door and run and dont look back. what good is he to you?

Reply to jen
Posted by: Obvious | 2010/12/17

Quotes
he does not have a many friends and spends a lot of time on his own.
he is not actually a very nice person,
likes to swear and threaten when he loses his temper
he will just ignore me for days on end.
seems a bit childsh for a 49 year old
his negatvity and bad moods rub off on me
he was rude to me
This is a 2 month old relationship,the reason we date and dont get married on the first date is to get to know on another.
With all the info gathered in the last 2 months any self respecting emotionally intelligent woman knows it is time to cut all contact with this man with whom there is absolutely no chance of a healthy,loving, commited relationship.

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: hypocrite | 2010/12/17

Seems that little old bridge over troubled water has burnt down cowgirl, maybe time to move on?

Reply to hypocrite

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