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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2011-05-16

Other people''s negativity - Need advice

Dear Mr. CS.
May you please give your opinion on something for me?
What are some natural ways to deal with negative and pessimistic people at work? I don''t want a medicinal solution, but rather a behavioural option. My colleagues at work are really negative people, but without the proper resources, it starts to permeate through to my soul, at it bothers me terribly. I''m generally a very neutral person, not overly happy and exited about things, but rather content, calm and placid, but also become disheartened and depressed very easily, so I''m trying everyday my very hardest to stay positive and happy. I''ve tried to talk to these people about being more positive and seeing the good things in life, and being thankful for what they''ve got. I now only realise that because the path they have walked through their lives, has influenced them to such an extend that it would take a lot more than me to turn them you know. But what do I do? I''ve had it with them, I don''t want other people''s negativity to influence me as well, the way it already does some days. They are grumpy, they complain about everything, they talk constantly about their issues and problems, they get worked up over nothing, gossip, you know the rest. I don''t know, any advice or suggestions?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You're right, there are no chemical / medicinal solutions to this sort of problems, or, indeed, to many others like it.
Presumably your difficulty at work isn't real;l about whether others at work are naturally happy or optimistic ( if they were silent about it, you probably wouldn't know ) but about how they express themselves, apparently in gloomy and pessimistic ways ?
Sounds like management has failed in THEIR duty to cultivate a positive and cheerful atmosphere at work.
Declare ( without telling them ) your independence. Hold to your own sensible and positive attitudes, and regard their grumbles as part of the noise of life, like traffic noises or gloomy weather - not as something we need to allow ourselves to be negatively affected by. They have no power to make you feel bad, unless you choose to give them that power

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sam | 2011-05-20

There''s an email doing the rounds about the Rubbish Truck. If you are driving and someone cuts in front of you and shows you a fist, you just smile and wave back. They are probably having a vrot day and decided to dump their rubbish on you. But you are a better person and decide not to accept their rubbish load, so you just ''smile and wave'' and continue on. Just let it go. Carry on with your ways and let them be miserable people.

Reply to Sam
Posted by: Anon | 2011-05-16

I understand, too much of anything is not good, positive or negative. And as far as Management cultivating a positive attitude? LOL. They couldn''t care less. To them it''s office politics and they don''t want any part of it. But thanks for the advice, I''ll try my best to stay positive and block out their grumbles. You know, having a bunch of women in one big office......not good, not good at all.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Truth | 2011-05-16

I once worked with someone that was so optimistic it was annoying. It was like the person was from another planet!
We all avoided this person as it was depressing to be around so much enthusiasm.

Something to think about?

Reply to Truth
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-05-16

You're right, there are no chemical / medicinal solutions to this sort of problems, or, indeed, to many others like it.
Presumably your difficulty at work isn't real;l about whether others at work are naturally happy or optimistic ( if they were silent about it, you probably wouldn't know ) but about how they express themselves, apparently in gloomy and pessimistic ways ?
Sounds like management has failed in THEIR duty to cultivate a positive and cheerful atmosphere at work.
Declare ( without telling them ) your independence. Hold to your own sensible and positive attitudes, and regard their grumbles as part of the noise of life, like traffic noises or gloomy weather - not as something we need to allow ourselves to be negatively affected by. They have no power to make you feel bad, unless you choose to give them that power

Reply to cybershrink

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