Posted by: Anon | 2010-04-21

Open minded with GF

I have been going out with this girl (can call her my girlfriend –  the only woman in my life).

We have been going out/ dating for 3 years. During the last 6 months we have experimented with sex that involved live sex shows, lots of soft swinging with other couples and only twice allowed a third party (MFM and FFM) in our beds…  We both agreed on this and neither was forced. And we both enjoyed the experience as the 3rd party (female) played with both of us. I did not penetrate her but oral sex was allowed (GF’ s restriction). Neither was the guy allowed to penetrate my girl but oral was allowed (with protection).

She is now looking at us spending our lives together and speaking about marriage. I enjoyed our life together and nothing was ever so serious as the discussions now. But now I can’ t see myself marrying this girl, even thou I love her.

The fact that going into marriage and knowing these girls, seeing her in all positions and what we did, I find myself worrying and thinking can I see her having my kids.

I have not told her this as this would break her heart. How does one overcome this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It seems that you and your girlfriend have enjoyed acting out on your fantasies without taking into account the consequences of this. Fantasies are sometimes best left in the mind. The bottom line is that you need to decide how you feel about her and if you really love her enough to marry her. It may not be fair for you to judge her based on something that you yourself has engaged in.Has your feelings changed only afer the swinging incidents? She has laid out her plans to you and you know what she wants out of this relationship. You owe it to her to express your feelings. Let her know that you are no longer comfortable sharing partners and that it cant happen again if your'l plan to get married. Ask her how your'ls swinging has affected her opinion of you. Solidify yourls relationship first before deciding to let other people in. Put it down to a mistake and see if your'l can move on from there. If not , than dont lead her on.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: H | 2010-04-22

Boomsie, dis totaal verkeer van hom om nog iemand te wou bysleep in die kamer. Hoe kan mens respek he vir mekaar daarna?

Reply to H
Posted by: boomsie | 2010-04-22

ja jul mans is f(^%up!
gelukkig het ek goeie man!
alhoewel hy al geskimo het dat ons 3some moet hou met ffm
toe se ek wel dan moet ons eerste mfm doen en dan wil ek kyk hoe hul meaar betas en hol jol, en toe skrik hy so groot en het nooit weer daarvan gepraat nie.

Reply to boomsie
Posted by: H | 2010-04-22

Dis hoe dit werk  ons hou van terte maar wil met ''n ordentlike meisie trou.

Reply to H
Posted by: boomsie | 2010-04-21

if you leave this lady you are seriously VERTRAAG!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to boomsie
Posted by: Anon | 2010-04-21

She was good enough when you were having 3sums. What makes you so perfect  you are just as accountable for your actions as she is. Did you think? That may be she did the swinging think just to please you. Her actions do not make her a bad mother or wife it was done with mutual consent. My verdict is that you just used her to fulfill your sexual fantasy now that it’ s done she is trash. Do not treat women like that, It will catch up with you.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Woman | 2010-04-21

This is what happens when people hook up with mr or ms good enough instead of mr or ms perfect.

For the sake of fairness, come clean with her immediately and leave her now. While you are wasting her time, her mr. perfect could be waiting for her - and you might be missing out on your own ms perfect.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Me | 2010-04-21

You are now being very very selfish. She was good enough whe n you were having 3sums and now she is not wife material? Be realistic. Are you saying that the woman you want to marry should not be sexually free? I really do not get what you are on about. If you really love her you should not have any problem with her sexuality especially because whatever she was doing you were also part of it.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Anon | 2010-04-21

I went into the relationship cause we were both single. We knew each other before we went out and our love grew with the amount of time we spent with each other. I am 28 (M) and she is 27. We are inseparable to most (our friends and family do not know what we do thou). But thinking about her having my kids seems to bother me.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: XXX | 2010-04-21

This is what happens when one decides to " swing"  ! The fact here though is that you both agreed to this so why worry now ! Have a chat to her and say that if you are to possibly marry then swinging is no longer an option.See what she says.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Yup | 2010-04-21

have you prehaps lost respect for her?

Reply to Yup

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