Our expert says:
I agree with Liza.
I hope your "bipolar disorder" has been properly diagnosed and is being expertly managed by a specialist psychiatrist, and not only a GP.
Maybe your husband had some right to feel indignant if you kept your prior behaviour a total secret, which he only discovered after marriage ; but generally, when you marry someone, you should acept their history, of things that happened before you met. Otherwise, it's like buying a second-hand car ( and we're ALL of us second-hand in some ways ) and then complaining angrily about some of the places the car had previously been driven to.
It sounds as though he may be using his inflated indignation about your earlier life to avoid facing his current infidelity with pornography. And, as you say, his own less than angelic life before marriage is to be ignored ?
I understand how this situation could make you miserable, and you should be seeing a counsellor /psychologist to help you deal with it. Actually THREATENING suicide, to him presumably, is a really bad idea. Not only should you not seriously consider harming yourself because of his faults, but the complaints could be used by him as claimed proof of your instability and unfitness as a parent.
But having Bipolar Disorder or depression, properly diagnosed and expertly managed, should not be considered by any competent court as any reason for even briefly doubting a person's capacity to be an excellent parent, and should not be considered relevant in considering custody.
And more kids are damaged by ducking down between combatting and chronically miserable parents, than are damaged by a properly managed divorce
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