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Question
Posted by: W | 2012/10/25

Only solution out

I''m in serious financial trouble, to a point where we stand to loose everything. I can''t bear the thought of the disappointment and hardship it would cause my family. I can not bear the thought of facing them when it happens. I spend hours and hours thinking and have realised the only way to save them is if something happens to me. I have more than enough insurance for them to settle our debts and live a great live. I know how pathetic this sound, but I feel that life will go on and I feel that after a little while they will be better off without me and at least they will live a good life. I''m so tired that it does not even bother me to think of dying. The thought off disappointing them is worse. I know this so pathetic from me, but I,m so tired of worrying and thinking and trying to save them. I can''t see another way out and I''m running out of time. What can I do please

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The main risk of losing everything is by following your thoughts of suicide. ALL financial problems can, eventually, be sorted out, and debt counselling and other sources of help are available.
If "something happens to you" there will be no posible benefit to your family, and much real harm. Insurance almost always suspects suicide in such cases ( even if the death was genuinely accidental ) and does NOT pay out in the event of suicide - how could they afford to do so ?
The family will NOT be better off without you, and will not be able to live a good life without you - if you allow yourself to come to harm, they will lose the insurance, inherit all the financial problems you face without your help to sort these out, and without the joy of your presence thereater. That will be far, far more "disappointing" to them than to hear from you of the problems and to be able to join you in searching for solutions.
this is not the only way out. Indeed, its really not a way out at all. Discuss this with them, with your wider family, with debt counsellors, with your bank, with friends, and with professional counsellors. There are always better ways to deal with such situations.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Phil | 2012/10/26

Congrats Liza! I will drink to that!

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Liza | 2012/10/26

In 2006 I lost my job due to bipolar. By end 2006, I had nothing - even my appliances had been repossessed. The day after they repossessed my car, I drank over 300 pills with a bottle of vodka and landed up at a public hospital in a coma with permanent kidney and liver damage. I hit rock bottom and had to rely on family to survive for 3 years. I finally found another job in 2009 - at half the salary I was receiving in 2006. By then my credit record was in tatters. I had multiple judgments against my name due to not being able to repay any debt since 2006.

For the past 3 years it''s been quite tough. Not having a car and having to use public transport or walk wherever I want to go. Having difficulty in even renting a place to stay(my terrible credit record leading to paying exorbitant rental just to have a roof over my head). Going without because I wanted to repay the judgments as fast as possible. Having to save cash every month for months to collect enough to buy expensive necessities like a fridge and washing machine.

Today I can proudly say that my credit record is finally clear again. Having to work so carefully with the little money I had, has changed the way I work with money and even my lifestyle completely. I''m a lot more careful and I''ve learned how to stretch every cent. In the past, I''d frequently treat myself to luxuries simply because it was so easy to ignore the actual cost of things and just swipe a credit card. I actually have to swallow a tense ball of fear every time I put a luxury into my shopping trolley because I''d rather be saving up for the next rainy day (or rainy year!).

Things might have been tough, but I''m so glad my own suicide attempt didn''t succeed because even with the hardships I went through, I''m very glad I''m still here to annoy and enjoy my kids!

Good Luck,
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Phil | 2012/10/26

Listen  I have been there ok. Pray  GOD picked me up and today I am better off.
Trust me  the important things are your loved ones. Losing earthly belongings is nothing  as long as you have your loved ones and thank GOD for being alaive and with them.

You might think that I am crazy  but today I am glad that I had to go through it. I was tought so many lessons  learned to not make the same mistakes. It is a tough road to stand up again. But  it is a gurantee that one will.

First thing I accepted. If I hit rock bottom and loose everything. Then what more is there to lose?
Then I started working on the smallest of things. A budget is very important. somehow things will start to look up. won''t happen over night. Also  don''t make more debt. If you don''t make more then it can only get less.

Just cahnge the way you think. Things will come right. Remember  the most important things in life can''t be bought with money. The sun  blue skies  our loved ones. Being alive and healthy.
And ask GOD to help you. HE helped me  but I alos had to do my fair share.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Just Saying | 2012/10/25

Have you contacted a debt review counsellor. They can assist to consodiate and manage your debt. Google them under National Credit Regulator.

Reply to Just Saying
Posted by: Anon | 2012/10/25

I''m sure if you asked your spouse ''which do you prefer?'' the answer would be obvious? No amount of money or comfortable living will make up for the loss of their spouse/parent. Money comes and goes but most people do not see their loved ones as commodities.

What your suggesting is not the ONLY solution, it''s just the EASY one and it might not work out as you plan. What happens when your insurance doesn''t want to pay out? You leave your family behind with nothing and without you..

Reply to Anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/25

The main risk of losing everything is by following your thoughts of suicide. ALL financial problems can, eventually, be sorted out, and debt counselling and other sources of help are available.
If "something happens to you" there will be no posible benefit to your family, and much real harm. Insurance almost always suspects suicide in such cases ( even if the death was genuinely accidental ) and does NOT pay out in the event of suicide - how could they afford to do so ?
The family will NOT be better off without you, and will not be able to live a good life without you - if you allow yourself to come to harm, they will lose the insurance, inherit all the financial problems you face without your help to sort these out, and without the joy of your presence thereater. That will be far, far more "disappointing" to them than to hear from you of the problems and to be able to join you in searching for solutions.
this is not the only way out. Indeed, its really not a way out at all. Discuss this with them, with your wider family, with debt counsellors, with your bank, with friends, and with professional counsellors. There are always better ways to deal with such situations.

Reply to cybershrink

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