advertisement
Question
Posted by: JT | 2010/08/30

One night stand

I had a one night stand on Friday and don’ t feel very proud of myself as I am in a relationship with a very loving man. I actually feel sick to the stomach.

The problem is that I love attention from the opposite sex. I will go out of my way just to get them interested, but I am not necessarily always interested. It is more about myself. I feel good when men are interested in me. Does it make sense?

I don’ t normally sleep with them, but unfortunately there was alcohol in the equation on Friday and all my resistance crumble.

What is wrong with me? Could it be that I am so insecure that it makes me feel good when I get attention? I don’ t think that I am insecure or have as low self esteem as I am a good looking woman and I get more than enough attention and love at home.

If I think back I must admit that I’ ve always been like this, but I don’ t like being like this.

Could you please give me insight of why I am behaving like this?

Thank you very much.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Actually, you seem to describe your probelm rather well, which is the basis for doing something about it, preferably with the aid of a CBT-style counsellor. Yes, it sounds like low self-esteem leads you to seek attention from others, even when, like a dog chasing a car, you don't necessarily want the car if it stops for you. And as you recognize alcohol as a risk factor ( it always makes it easier for us to be foolish ) avoid it in such situations.

Cheating is not a sign of being insufficiently in love with someone, but of having insufficient respect for them ( and for yourself ).

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Phil | 2010/08/30

You know what, it has NOTHING TO DO with if or don''t you love someone. You don''t cheat! Get out of a relationship if you wanna be with someone else.

There are no excuse for cheating. If you have, and you know it''s is wrong. Ask for forgiveness and don''t do it again. If you know that you loose your morals when you drink and you are around guys that give you attention, and you know you won''t be able to resist. Then what is the obvious answer? Common sense now really.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Butterfly1982 | 2010/08/30

I don''t agree with Jombo. I am totally in love with my boyfriend and unfortunately have done a few stupid things in the beginning of our relationship. It felt like you were explaining me in your post. I would call myself a flirt but not a tease. Thing is, especially when alcohol is involved, when you get to the stage of pushing the guy away and saying no you''re not taking it further, its easy for them to push and push until you say yes, even though you actually don''t want to. I''ve always had the problem that I don''t want to hurt their feelings, how stupid is that?? As you feel like complete shit the next day. My question would be, how long have you and this guy been together and before him, how long were you single or when last was your last good stable relationship?

Reply to Butterfly1982
Posted by: jombo | 2010/08/30

There you said it!

Reply to jombo
Posted by: JT | 2010/08/30

Me again: maybe I don''t really love this guy I am with? Coz if I did.. would I be cheating?

Reply to JT
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/30

Actually, you seem to describe your probelm rather well, which is the basis for doing something about it, preferably with the aid of a CBT-style counsellor. Yes, it sounds like low self-esteem leads you to seek attention from others, even when, like a dog chasing a car, you don't necessarily want the car if it stops for you. And as you recognize alcohol as a risk factor ( it always makes it easier for us to be foolish ) avoid it in such situations.

Cheating is not a sign of being insufficiently in love with someone, but of having insufficient respect for them ( and for yourself ).

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement