Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi Just Wanted and thanks for posting. It is possible that your partner's lack of interest in sex with you could be due to A) something about himself (depression or a sexual dysfunction, for example) or B) some dynamic in your relationship.
A lack of interest in sex could be due to depression or low self-esteem. Also, if your partner does have an intact sex drive (and possibly masturbates in order to avoid anal sex) we could be talking about anal inhibition syndrome.
It is possible that his avoidance of sex could be due to a relationship dynamic you may not be aware of. For example, he could resent the fact that he is to some extent financially dependent on you. Your also suggest that his mother could be playing a role - does she live with you guys?
Either way, I suggest you explore professional support - either a few sessions of couple counselling, or him seeing a therapist on his own, or a combination of both.
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